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Frosting

Missing image

These heart cookies
Are smothered in
Sugary,
Lovely,
Goodness.

My heart is empty
Of sweetness,

Beauty,
Love.

The misery inside is
Incomprehensible.

My heart is broken,
Ugly,
Frosting-less.

 

Unable to love.

Impossible to need.

Unsure how to proceed.

 

My heart is gone.

I hope there's some

Small,

Unquantifiable,

 

Amount you still want.

Author notes

I revised Chocoholic156 poem "Frosting"

Here's the origonal poem:

These heart cookies
have pink frosting.
My heart does not,
I hope you still will want it.

I added A LOT...hopefully it's OK.

By the way, to the contest owner - I really like your poems. I didn't chose this poem beacuse it was bad, I chose it because it had a really interesting idea that I wanted to explore. Good idea for a contest.

Deffiantly not my best poem - have mercy, it's late and I'm brain dead.

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • Thor-201
    April 15
    Edit | Reply
    I like what you did with this. Wonderful job here.
    Be well,
    Trent


  • penman gold member
    April 14
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    What a great write. so very creative. A wonderful take on the prompt. Thank you for sharing.


  • checkmate-
    January 31

    Edit | Reply
    *is very hungry*
    ...but that's not the point, is it?

    Anyways. I love this poem, and the cookies, and the idea, and the last stanza. A lot!

    -Paradox


  • StarIlluminated
    January 28

    Edit | Reply
    Yay Katrina!!! This is so cool! I love the picture at the top, and I really like this pome too. It's really good.

    *KT*

    PS. Lol it's another contest! Sorry, I'm just finding it amusing


    • liduen silver member
      January 28
      Edit | Reply
      I can never think of anything to write about without contests

      Thanks


  • Chocoholic156
    January 27

    Edit | Reply
    lol! Thank you!
    This poem is very different from mine! But I like how, even though its longer and different, I can still see the background of where my poem came from in there. My favorite part would have to be the last stanza and line. You just made this your own, and I'm glad for that!
    Thank you for entering in my contest, and good luck!


  • Jade.Butterfly gold member
    January 27
    Edit | Reply
    WOW! What a difference you made to this poem!
    Great job!
    -Mandi

1 - 7 of 7