I am fragmented mosaic artwork;
magnificent colors on some days,
dull grays and blacks on the worst.
Many voices in my crowded head,
screaming to be heard above all –
Stop the abuse! We’ve had enough!
Drowning in alcohol, the silence comes.
Redeeming my sins with caring hands,
God’s creatures, big and small, arrive;
great pain and suffering they’ve all seen,
with a gentle touch I restore them to health.
Terror arises once more as night closes in,
lashing out at all who care to comfort me;
a thorny friend I become to those around.
Pain killers dull the ache inside my heart.
Come to me with your worries and hurt,
for I am truly compassionate and loving;
those in need will find my embrace warm,
always available and comforting to them.
Anger erupts in a flash without warning,
as my mood shift like nomadic winds,
and bipolar disorder grips me like a vice.
Taking daily medication is overpowering.
But nothing is sweeter than motherhood,
for I am a gifted mother and best friend;
a sweeter son exists nowhere on this earth,
and blessed I am to watch him for the Lord.
I am fragmented mosaic artwork;
magnificent colors on some days,
dull grays and blacks on the worst.
Author notes
Challenge 3: Self examination
Take a new picture of yourself, and look into it, tell me your soul,
post the photo only if you want to.
10) A poem on why you love yourself, Or why you hate yourself. It can be both if you like?
2) Write a poem about yourself. Whether you love or hate yourself. How do you look? How do you feel? What do you see in the mirror?
A contest entry
- Warts And All! by Walking Oxymoron.
700 points, ended February 5, 20 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I am... by Desdmona.
800 points, ended April 21, 33 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Silver dollars and empty lungs (prewrites) by Writing0Freedom.
600 points, ends December 1, 237 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - prewrites contest!!!!!!!!!!!! enter!!!!! by foreveryourslove.
1120 points, ended November 9, 1070 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - 1000 points, 1000 pws by Shadow Anonymised.
1000 points, ended November 23, 1077 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - prewrites, please! by division.
400 points, ended October 28, 180 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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This is a very...flexible...poem. lol it was an amazing piece and i think you met your goal head on!
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The big letters make this very hard to read, but I really liked this poem. Thank-you very much for entering this into my contest.
But nothing is sweeter than motherhood,
for I am a gifted mother and best friend;
a sweeter son exists nowhere on this earth,
and blessed I am to watch him for the Lord. -
who were you in this story. i didn't understand stanzas 4/5.
please explain. were you like some sort of god-like-healer person? or was this more imaginary? -
Good luck and thanks for entering my contest.
-heva -
This is so lovely, I love the way you mix the bad with the good.
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Wow .... yes to self examine is a hard task and you have done so in what seems to be honestly. It is hard to describe the ugly in yourself great write. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck
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This is a wonderfully written piece! I love the duality of the stanzas, it added to the mood and overall effect of the piece wonderfully. The flow was smooth and effective, and the repetition of the first stanza was a great touch.
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I like how you used colors at the begining
Very descriptive. GREAT WRITE.
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hmm very diffrent and powerful
The Positives:
great metaphors and lot of wonderful imagery loved the style
Room For Improvement:
Nothing I can see you did wonderful
My Favorite Part:
Anger erupts in a flash without warning,
as my mood shift like nomadic winds,
and bipolar disorder grips me like a vice.
Taking daily medication is overpowering.
powerful emotions
Overall:
I give this an 8/10 you did great. I hope to see you in my future contests thanks so much for entering.
~*~Apathetic Poison~*~ -
Ooh, this is powerful. I like the imagery and the idea of multiple sides to a person. The color metaphor is well portrayed as well. Good job and good luck! ~Des
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Lovely write. Thanks and good luck in my contest
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A good poem that you have written here.
-Nam -
I love this. Your imagery and feeling is superb and your writing style is beautifully unique. The poetic devices you've used here are very well executed, and works wonderfully.
Many voices in my crowded head,
screaming to be heard above all –
Stop the abuse! We’ve had enough!
Drowning in alcohol, the silence comes.
I loved this. It seemed so fierce, so emotive. Absolutely brilliant!
I wish you the best of luck, and keep writing and improving your poetry. ^__^
Aeris Silverlight
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92
Not only can you rhyme, but you can write free verse too. Versatility is a great talent to have.
"I am fragmented mosaic artwork;
magnificent colors on some days,
dull grays and blacks on the worst."
-I loved this. And I'm usually not a fan of seeing colors used as the core of imagery, but this is an exception. I thought this was effective due to the mosaic image. This was genius.
And the repetition at the end worked.
In the middle, I felt you told more than you showed - and that isn't a bad thing, but in a contest [of mine] I look for entries that have a consistent balance of abstraction/imagery throughout. However, even with that set aside, what you have here works...hence the grade.
And one more note:
"Anger erupts in a flash without warning,
as my mood shift like nomadic winds,
and bipolar disorder grips me like a vice."
-loved this.
(PS. Should "shift" be "shifts"?)
originality: 9/10
creativity: 9/10
cohesion: 10/10
organization: 10/10
mechanics: 10/10
balance of abstraction/imagery: 8/10
emotion/personality/edge: 9/10
Impact/Reaction: 8/10
title: 5/5
diction: 4/5
syntax: 5/5
overall opinion: 5/5
Total possible: 100
Actual total: 92
These are just my opinions.
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Very well done on portraying yourself in this. It's a great poem with good descriptions and imagery.
Terror arises once more as night closes in,
lashing out at all who care to comfort me;
a thorny friend I become to those around.
Pain killers dull the ache inside my heart.
That is my favorite stanza. It really tells the reader on what you are going through. Good job and good luck in the contest. -
touching.
All that I can say about this is that thanks for the poem. It definitely tells all about you in one stroke. Often we never know what illness is until it comes to us and then we understand what people go through. I feel something like this right now. I love you for this poem. Good luck.
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I really do like this, it gives and really unique and emotional veiw of yourself. Very well done. xo Thank you for the entry.
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I totally understand mental disorders. Bipolar can be pretty bad....
Great write
Thanks for entering
Good luck
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emotionally beautiful write. thank you for sharing.
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Terror arises once more as night closes in,
lashing out at all who care to comfort me;
a thorny friend I become to those around.
Pain killers dull the ache inside my heart.
my fav part.
best of luck in my contest! :] -
I like this, but I feel like i would love it if it rhymed.
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This was a really amazing entry. It really captured what i was asking of the prompt and you really brought the poem to life. Absolutly fantastic. Unfortunatly, you have already won gold in another contest so i am really sorry that this cant win. xoxo Never the less amazing write and many thanks for the entry.
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I've read this before......
Why did I not comment? I suck! I liked this piece.
Alot of your personality traits remind me of myself. (Yeah, how many times how you heard that recently??!!) The flashes of anger, the thorny friend, the loving caring side...
I'm a hard person to be friends with, but I'm loyal. So loyal.
And I loved the title! Mosaics, but their very nature are broken... so are you broken, broken? Or originally broken...ponderous.
Loved it, anyway! -
I like this. I know people who feel like the character in your poem feels. you tell it plainly and as far as I can tell, truthfully. Logical progressing. no misspelled words. Thank you for entering my contest.
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well writen
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A wonderful piece here and I'm happy to have the pleasure reading! Thank you for your entry and good luck
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These words are stunningly put together to describe the waves of this life's tempest. I know someone who is going through these terrible, terrible lows, interspersed with highs that don't last but fall, like the crest of a wave, crashing back into that black abyss. These are the times that we can only hold out our hands and be there. Our hands are made to help, made to heal, made to pray.
I loved these lines;
'Anger erupts in a flash without warning,
as my mood shift like nomadic winds,'
There's something other worldly about them. Something akin to the feeling you get when you're going down the tallest dip on a rollercoaster, no matter what you do you cannot stop. Even the voice in your head cannot stop you. The waves of emotion sweep you away and all you really want to do is stop.
A deeply emotional write that touches heart, soul and mind. Thank you for sharing this special write.
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