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Swallowing Goodbyes




Blue is the color of loneliness ...
red stitches anger and rage
through my dreams.

Mixed, they equal the purple pills
I take to forget you.







Author notes

Your prompt kept running through my thoughts, so I decided to exorcize it.

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think?

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Comments

1 - 23 of 23
  • Yow, I don't think I've ever seen you write like this before, but then I've been away for a while. Kudos for stepping beyond! I like how you communicated more than just a mingling of color in your last two lines, and leave to the reader's interpretation if those pills bring eternal forgetfulness or just momentary mood elevation. It's kinda fun to try to say a lot with a little, isn't it?


  • toomysterious
    October 27

    Edit | Reply
    Awesome use of colors, line and space to define the feeling this word invokes. Separation is so sad, no matter it's cause. Brilliance in brevity. Not to mention the superb title.


  • Beret55 silver member
    October 26

    Edit | Reply
    There is onlt two colors, blue and others. hehe
    My friend, that is one of your best. Moving and shows so much pail. Well done..


  • isabelwk
    July 31
    Edit | Reply

    ooh!

    I love your take on red and blue. Such imagery.


  • Peripatetic gold member
    July 19

    Edit | Reply
    The depth of emotion is revealed not by the number of words used to express it, but by their acuity. A sharp slender point gets more directly to the heart of the matter than does a broad and blunt one. 25 words here are no less effective than 25 lines might have been to covey the bitterness of loss.


  • ronnica
    April 18
    Edit | Reply
    So few words but with a sad but theme and a lot of Wow, just great

  • Topnotchsy
    February 28

    Edit | Reply
    This is really great. Short, but really good. Not your "run of the mill" poem on this site, and I can see why the comments have been so positive on it.


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    February 7

    Edit | Reply

    Brilliant Sentiments...

    Quite artistic, as well. Sould have won the gold. Take care... Peace always, xx Cyn


  • CaliOkie silver member
    February 1

    Edit | Reply
    Very good. We are told to let go of the past and in doing so we leave a part of ourselves behind. Only over time can we know how important the part we leave behind.

    Garrison


  • suseann
    January 31

    Edit | Reply
    This meets all criteria requested and then some. Oh that sweet oblivion of sleeping consciousness.Our hide away without leaving home.


  • waydownuponjoy
    January 30

    Edit | Reply

    the title fits your poem

    to a tee ... and you managed to take a subject that is touchy and soothe it all back down to a firm conclusion. j y


  • Age of Rain
    January 30

    Edit | Reply
    much more raw than I usually read from you. raw isn't really the right word. maybe just 'revealed.' Short, yes, but very emotionally drawing. Glad you have written something new.

    • ecrivain01
      January 30
      Edit | Reply

      Glad to see ...

      that you're awake, and ostensibly without a hangover.

      Thanks for stopping by.


  • Heart Sutra
    January 30

    Edit | Reply
    I appreciate the use of color in this poem. It is an excellent piece. Personally the poem could stand alone with just the first two stanzas but that is just my opinion.

    • ecrivain01
      January 30
      Edit | Reply

      I have a feeling ...

      that you are right. I may "exorcise" some lines after the contest is over.

  • Outstanding

    I liked the concept of the red for anger and blue for loneliness mixed together to make a new purple pill. I thought this was very original. I liked your choice of language and the way you devloped the theme. Best of luck in the contest.


  • DogFish silver member
    January 27
    Edit | Reply
    Zayra's promt is much harsher than mine! hope it was the catharsis you needed, "01"!

    • ecrivain01
      January 27
      Edit | Reply

      Not even close ...

      but thanks for stopping by.

      Too much piled up to exorcize it with just a few words.


  • Night Hope gold member
    January 27

    Edit | Reply



    Impressive, Scribe. Sheesh. You went all "brevity" on me.

  • extremely graphic, well written, and unflawed images scattered throughout such few words.

    • ecrivain01
      January 30
      Edit | Reply

      Nice to see you back ...

      as I was beginning to wonder a bit.

      Thanks for stopping by.


  • klassy lassy
    January 27
    Edit | Reply
    I agree with Pamela....WOW!


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    January 27

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This is excellent. I don't think I've ever seen you write like this before. Wonderful. OH I love this take on the prompt. So much raw emotion and kitchen table reality. Nice! ~Pamela

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