Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

The Tao of Verses Living Free

Aloft in flights of unrestricted grace
we soar and pirouette
around the clouds of ambiguity
to find the warmth derived from light,  
our pinions stretched to catch
the rising drafts of metaphor

with finely feathered imagery.

Then furling wings,
we drop in breathless spirals down,
around and down
until we strike and break apart the mirrored sky
in all its thousand lights of shimm’ring waves of crystal seas,
which - in their gentle flow or hurried rush -

our streams of consciousness have fed.

We plunge into the sparkling, ever darkling, depths
in search of flashing schools of truth
from which to take our spirit-sating sustenance.
Our eager, grasping souls and hearts

suffused with captured thoughts, we rise

with buoyant forms to rest and celebrate among our peers

the filling of our hungry minds.

We swim upon the waves and currents of events
until we turn again into the winds of living change and –
screaming in our ecstasy of life and breathless wisdom –
lift the wings of freshened minds

to glide, then sail and rise until we soar
across the vast celestial vault on fiery wings
aflame with energetic, unrestricted creativity.

Once more we fill the skies
with words and lines ethereal,
their beauty drawn from grace beyond horizons never seen
by verses which may race and dance in wondrous symmetry
but never leave the earth
on which they’re bound to run in rhythms paced
by measured feet in structured frames.

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • Ellis gold member
    2 days ago
    ?
    Edit | Reply

    Delightful

    The creativity of the subjective, not the celestial vault!


  • Jesann gold member
    November 9

    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed reading this poem, loved it all, and especially liked your 2nd verse, and these lines..

    "We plunge into the sparkling, ever darkling depths
    in search of flashing schools of truth"

    Beautifully worded, excellent imagery and a sheer pleasure to read.

  • ecrivain01
    November 1

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent write ...

    reminds me of my poem Dream-Flight, although I'm not sure exactly why. It just does.

    Getting a bronze from Jim was quite an accomplishment, as he is one of the best poets on this site. Congratulations.


    • Peripatetic gold member
      November 1
      Edit | Reply
      There is similar imagery in the poems though the themes and subjects are different. "Dream-Flight" considers imagination of life, while mine is the imagination of writing a particular kind of poetry.

      In truth, most of my poetry is characterized "by verses which may race and dance in wondrous symmetry but never leave the earth on which they’re bound to run in rhythms paced by measured feet in structured frames." In "Dream-Flight" I see a similar earthbound point of view for that which is seen and imagined more often than it is realized.

      Jim's contest was a fun challenge, and I kind of like this poem. The current version is not quite the same as that first posted as I have taken advantage of the constructive criticism left by Cannonsfire for my early draft.

      • ecrivain01
        November 1
        Edit | Reply

        True enough ...

        but I think that flying is something to which every human being aspires whether consciously or not, and its universality encompasses all types of human activities. Writing is far from being the least of these.

        Now I'm about to fly off on a search for something edible before I get too weak to get out of my chair.

        Have a good week!


  • Siderea
    May 31

    Edit | Reply

    Vertiginous!

    The freedom of flight sometimes lives in one's dreams and poetry, where the ordinary ladder proves paralyzing. Perfect mating of form , metaphor subject here especially

    "Once more we fill the skies
    with words and lines ethereal,
    their beauty drawn from grace beyond horizons never seen
    by verses..."

    The paradox of soaring free verse and more comfortable and suitably grounded lines is aptly ,and deftly portrayed in your closing stanza.
    This poem has no hint of mechanical flight, for the poet's natural iambic wing-beats raise it in rhythmic heights, and bring us safely to earth again.

    I have flown like this in my dreams, in joy and freedom, but in terrestrial life have trouble getting up on a chair. Thank you for a waking reminder of poetic, and quiescent flights!

  • wow

  • beautiful

  • this poem is very beautiful and breath taking, i enjoyed reading it.


  • Nicolette gold member
    March 22

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful. I loved the depth, the spirituality of this piece, the way it rises and falls....like we do, like life. I especially liked the metaphor of the ocean - what better one for the human condition, for this time called life. We soar, we are grounded and we always need to find the balance.

    I would love to hear this piece read aloud - it should be read. Thank you for an enlightening experience.

    ~ Nicolette


  • Di Shirley
    February 16
    Edit | Reply

    Beautifully penned.


  • Exit-Stage-Right
    February 16

    Edit | Reply
    Too bad this wasn't the Inaugural poem a few weeks back in D.C.. I find this a lot more tangible than what was read that day.

    • Peripatetic gold member
      February 16
      Edit | Reply
      Although Ms. Alexander's inauguration poem "Praise Song for the Day" is a little prosaic for my taste, like most of the celebratory words for the day it was primarily meant to make us feel good about ourselves and to encourage hope for the times ahead. She came as close to hitting the mark as anything else spoken on Jan 20. I didn't hear her delivery, but the written text seems at least as stirring as most of the high school student essays written for the day. That seems like condemnation by faint praise, but I have read some fine high school student essays.

      I hope the USA as a nation and Americans as individuals are more happy and prosperous four years from now than they are today. Regardless of our politics, the most any of us can do is contribute his or her best to that outcome. The Inauguration Day words which still resonate better than any since Lincoln's time are Kennedy's: "Ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country." Robert Frost's "The Gift Outright" which he recited that day may have been the perfect inauguration poem, although it was only because of blinding snow glare that he quoted that poem instead of reading "Dedication" written for the day. The love of country like any other is most satisfying when we focus on the object of our affections rather than the return.


  • HammeR
    January 28

    Edit | Reply

    Masterfully penned

    As I glimpsed the soaring imagery, and dancing imagination of this write I was drawn to how you relate our rebirth, always a winged magestic creator though until the trials of fire are passed we are only limiting ourselves. The pheonix is birthed anew after the trial of the fire. I would like to say thank you for sharing this beautiful write with all of us. I tend to limit myself with structured verse and am comfortable bending its ways to my means. This style is so random to me that I dont share the optimism of the creativity part....due to my limited exposure and reasoning to think past structure...lol.

    Again I stand upon the earth watching as you have winged flight soaring into realms I may never comprehend.

    Bravo good sir!

    • Peripatetic gold member
      January 28
      Edit | Reply
      I am disappointed with much of the free verse I see, but let's face it: there is a lot of poetry of form and rhythm and rhyme which is not very satisfying as well. On the other hand, some of the poems which have thrilled and moved me the most are free verse, and I am often astounded at the creativity of poets of form. In the end it comes down to the writer's skill and imagination in whatever form or genre he or she chooses or is moved to write.

      I often refer to free verse in terms of flight and height. While I have no fear of flying with a skilled pilot, I am somewhat afraid of heights, and I am not comfortable with the thought of flying myself. So it is with poetry. For myself I am just more at ease with conventions in which I have plenty of freedom of expression but no real sense of danger or thought that I cannot achieve what I set out to do. I occasionally extend my reach beyond what I am sure I can grasp, but I am not the sort of thrill-seeker to do it all the time!


  • Darkwell
    January 26

    Edit | Reply
    your gerund are much better now someday ill know what a gerund is anyway i wanted to read something awesome and you never dissapoint theres a natural up and down thing going on with you words like aloft to furling to plunging then sail to rise, its a lovely floaty drifty earth sea sky thing that balances the whole poem.

    We plunge into the sparkling, ever darkling, depths
    in search of flashing schools of truth
    from which to take our spirit-sating sustenance.
    Our beaks and craws of soul and heart suffused

    i just think that this metaphor deserves a gold all by itself this is so not like you and the sharp meter style and perfect rhymes and i dont think i ever read any free verse stuff from you, it almost looks like it should be awkward when i tap it out but the way you treated it with the words makes it read so smooth and even inside words form flow rhyme with others like metaphor and warmth in the first part. its killer


  • tombruize
    January 26
    Edit | Reply
    This is a nice write


  • Cannonsfire
    January 26

    Edit | Reply
    It's lovely, perhaps one too many 'down's' in that line lol and possibly you need to check the gerunds in it, 'ing' words tend to make a fv piece lose the strength it desires. The imagery is lovely as is the thoughts. C

    • Peripatetic gold member
      October 25

      Edit | Reply
      I think I never got around to thanking you for your helpful critique. Taking to heart your suggestions, I revised a few words and lines. The poem seems better now in my view, and I hope it is for readers, too

      • Cannonsfire
        October 25
        Edit | Reply
        Oh that's ok, I tend to ramble on so somethings I even forget I tell people lol I just re-read it and yes it does seem better, the title I guess threw me a little because I think of eastern verse being sparse, this has much to discover in each line, eastern tend to use a minimalist amount of 'the' 'and' 'to' 'of' for that space of thought I think they call it...but I am glad if my suggestions helped you C

1 - 23 of 23