Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Last Flight








Insistent on impulsive gravity,
    she sighs.
     
Flight completed...
    ...hourglass shivers.





Author notes

This is about making wrong choice and not surviving love!

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Lavender Butterfly
    January 27, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    uniquely creative... x

  • Atrus
    January 26, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Don't know if this was all on purpose :-) but I noticed a couple things:

    impulsive is a great word choice because it 1. mirrors certain sounds in "insistenet" and the "pulse" sitting in the center of the word points towards the time references that run through this whole poem

    I also love how the volitional sigh is tied to a force the girl has no control over (gravity). So the two lines are a really nice, subtle way of the individual trying to harness a power far beyond her

    Lastly the hourglass might be a literal hourglass or might indicate the female shape, so there is a layered meaning there.

    Whether intentional or not, I appreciate the way this poem ties together. Thanks for sharing

    • phoenixonfire
      January 26, 2009
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks a lot Atrus for the insightful comment!! I really appreciate it!
      ~pri


  • JeannieD Hunter gold member
    January 26, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    What an incredible take on the picture.
    It does seem sometimes we are stuck
    like we are waiting. . . . . .
    Well done. Good luck in the contest.


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    January 26, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    this is very beautiful

1 - 8 of 8