©copyright 2004 Bonita M Quesinberry, R.C.
Upon soft black velvet, diamonds wink, twinkling
silver moonbeams slip through shadowed fir, in blur
lighting aglow misty fingers bind, winding.
Gentle breath to ink chimes, melody tinkling
in harmonic sigh with river's lullaby,
as it winds glittering by untold his'try.
It had been soft gray, this lazy rainy day;
God's pitter-patter soothing all who matter.
A fantasy world amidst magic mys'try.
In a list
A contest entry
- the shower... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
400 points, ended February 8, 2009, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Nature is always at its most beautiful in any kind of weather: would that we women could say that! LOL!
Comments
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Bandits United!!!
What a gorgeous description...
Your words paint the most exquisite images in the mind
Great word choice
Shari


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Oh my, sis...written in 2004, and what a penning....Truly my favorite...Delightful!
Bookmarking!
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BANDITS UNITED
Sorry I know I havea long way to go but I'll be there.
I like the classic use of "e'er" .
Very simple and very sweet.

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Bandit united
ITs a good poem. short but very good. so True

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BANDITS UNITED: This is your day in the spotlight; enjoy. Liked the rhythm and inner rhyme in these lines; the flow and the visuals that come when reading. Way to go with the silver trophy too. Nice read.


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Bandits United!!
Whoops! Sorry I'm late. :/ Anyways...loved how smoothly everything flowed into its fellow lines. Definitely carries that soothing, sweetly hypnotic tone that helped me calm down after a busy day. Excellent job!
~M~

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Bandits United!
Better a little late than never right? Anyway, this was beautiful. Such imagery, I sort of forgot I was really just sitting at a computer. Nice work. Hope you enjoyed the spotlight; you deserved it.

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Bandits United!
Sorry this is a little late
- I really liked this, the rhythm of it was amazing, and the imagery really made me float away on your words - you paint such a beautiful picture here - I really enjoyed it!

Polly

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Bandits United
You have good strong descriptive words in your poem. Nature has always been a subject of interest and enjoyment for me, so I found the images you paint with your descriptions very nice.

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BANDITS UNITED
Love the gray rainy day for I do enjoy that kind of weather and wish we might have more.
Your poem is filled with images that take the reader right to the scene.
Beautiful!


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Belated Bandits United!
The soothing "pitter-patter" of rain against a soft velvet night cause me to sigh, beautiful imagery and metaphors.
The word "fantastic" seems jarring in this gentle poem, also it tells, not shows. The rest is pure beauty.

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Thank you! Do you suppose "fantasy" might work better than "fantastic?" At the moment, my brain is. . . hmmm. . . dead, I think. There are so many other words as well, just can't seem to drag them out.
Luv & hugs, SisBon

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How about (something like) this:
"It had been soft gray, this lazy rainy day;
God's pitter-patter soothes mind and matter.
His gift refreshes soil and soul." -
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Hmmm? While I love your suggested line, which is perfect, except it does not meet the poem's or line meter. What I was attempting to convey in that last line was the scene around me. I lived in the forest across from a river and, in such weather, it became much like a fantasy land possessing a sense of mystery about it.
Luv ya! SisBon

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Ah, I didn't pick up on the meter...
"fantasy" works better than "fantastic" _ softer, and has a different connotation.
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Bandits United!
A lovely, soft poem that makes the reader feel so calm and happy!
Sweetly penned with skill, so true.


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Bandits United!
Awesome read!
A write that is picture perfect in its imagery. Your words evoke!

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Bandits United...
The softness of this write is breath taking each line flows with ease to the next, the imagery is grand as I see the diamonds winking and the moonbeam brightness for all to see, this is lovely and to add God in the center makes this a wonderful shower of grace...

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BANDITS UNITED!
Gentle breath to ink chimes,
Such lovely phrases you have chosen in this beautiful poem of inspiration. It is so pretty to read and so worthy of your trophy!

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Bandits United!
The imagery in this poem is inspired. I liked the first stanza the most and the way you create a picture of the night with the moon shining brightly. This poem flows very well and I liked your descriptions. Congratulations on the trophy.

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BANDITS UNITED!!
Sister Bonnie,
This enchanting poem, full of positive energy built on exquisite imagery really touches the heart and soul. What beauty your quill has captured here to share with others, it is a blessing to read and ponder. May God continue to bless you dear friend.
Write on!
You have been Spotlighted by your Poetic Bandit Family today because WE CARE!
Brother Dennis


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Bandits United!
Wow, that was such a joy to read!
The imagery is beautiful and the internal rhyming adds to this even more...
Great job with this poem, the trophy is well-deserved.
Keep on writing!
Your Bandit Sister & Sister in Christ
Annie

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Bandits United!
Lovely flow with delightful internal rhymes throughout this piece. It felt like a clearwater stream tumbling over age-smoothed pebbles to read...a sensation I cherish and savour as a poetry reader!
Thank you for creating such a wonderful poem, and enjoy your day to shine in our Bandit spotlight!


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Bandits United
A pleasure to read, think it's beautifully done


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Bandits United
I like your vocabulary choice and syntax. Congrats on the silver.

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BANDITS UNITED!!
i really like this line:
"...melody tinkling
in harmonic sigh with river's lullaby"
good rhythm and rhyme. thank you for sharing your talent. keep writing! GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS


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Bandits United!
So glad this won Silver! What lovely imagery, and internal rhyme! A beautiful word tapestry you weave here Bonnie. Bravo!

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Bandits United! ~
Congrats on the Silver
This is such a beautiful poem, I am enchanted and dazzled reading it
♥
Stay safe
~Manda


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BANDITS UNITED
Hiya there this is a lovely piece thank you for sharing your heart and talent congrats on your trophy win be well

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BANDIT UNITED
Excellent write and imagery.

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Hiya Sis,
Congratulations on the silver trophy!
- joanne -
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I love the images you have crafted here to bring the message and the impact as well..thanks for such a mature work..well done..
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Such Refreshing Here
The gentleness of God through the lines of delicate imagery, brings such peace, and Gods' presence as one reads.....This poem sets the mood for the refreshing
Spirit of God!
write! Surely a winner!


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Nice. It has feeling.
'soothing all who matter' -- and all of us do matter.
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Thank you, dearest Bonita!

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This is so lovely - happy and melodic. It makes me want to be in the poem!
Beautiful!
Love and hugs,
- joanne -


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Thank you, Sis! I recall the evening I was sitting on Betty's deck. It had rained all day, but evening brought that gorgeous moonlight filtering through fog weaving its way through the majestic fir trees as the river sang across the road. It really was a magical moment. I wish I could have done it better justice.
Much luv & hugs, SisBon

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It is this ability to capture a moment forever that makes poetry so vital to me.
Love and hugs always and forever!
- joanne -
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Exactly! That is why I came to love poetry even as a teen, though I never attempted to write it until about age 30 or so. As I said, however, I cannot do it justice the way you can. You and Debby both are simply master poets and simply cannot pen a bad poem!
I LOVE YOU! SisBon

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