Your marbled eyes,
I called them elegaic,
defeated.
Confessions drifted from tarmac to my
keen ear.
And I stroked your hair with a heart that burst,
for your slurs sung golden.
My skin climbed towards the moon to meet the stars
that spun in your eyes when the last swig of Crown Royal
found its way home from the floor of a broken bottle.
I still feel your breath on my shoulder
where a child might find himself
once a daughter turns to a lover, and
in turn, to a mother.
You and me, we prevailed as kings
beyond the bleached beds
where young travelers rest.
What did you think
Comments
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A very interesting piece with a different concept. You had me spiraling downward throughout the piece, my mind filled with perious thoughts until you laid me gently down at the end. I do think revisions are needed with some of your phrasings, but aside from that, I think it's fine. Thank you for sharing!
Lily ♥
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This is deeply moving. Holding a child is one of the most precious things a human can accomplish, if the child is your own...the beauty is fathomless. BTW, always excited to see a new piece from a favorite!!!Geo
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