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Exhale Lace

There's a bittersweet taste in my lungs
This love is choking oh my dear
There's only hope in letting go
To sever all the ties.
My rose is silently wilting
The only water received from the tears we cry
Not enough to thrive it's fragile life.
But the vine is rooted deep in my heart
I must end its life tonight.
One.
Two.
Three.
One last breath, to save the taste of
Two hearts, that kissed, never forget those
Three words my dear, but lips turn cold
I snip my love and exhale lace
Fall into the open arms of Grace.

I feel the sun kiss my cheek
And warmth course throught my veins.
My hazel eyes see the light again
and my heart has been reborn.
I see your love shining down
Your fingers entwine mine,
my true love, soul match,
whoever you may be.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15
  • izzy1804
    September 2
    Edit | Reply
    Very well written. Very enjoyable. Good luck.


  • Treasure 5 gold member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    Save the taste of two hearts I love it. It makes me warm inside. Exhale face this is well done,


  • babyalah
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    Very nicely done. Well written. It brings a warm message with your words. Simply beautiful. Well done to you all the best to you


  • Genovefa
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    heartfelt and lyrical.very real,like life. The title is captivating and so are the words,the lines,the style!I had a little trouble with the flow at some points but otherwise it was ethereal.

    Favourites:
    -This love is choking oh my dear
    -The only water received from the tears we cry
    -But the vine is rooted deep in my heart
    -Three words my dear, but lips turn cold
    I snip my love and exhale lace
    Fall into the open arms of Grace.
    <--- The three most beautiful and meaningful lines in the poem.Love the rhyme and the lyricism of them.

    Great poem!


  • individuality gold member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    a good poem, ah love will arrive in its own time and sweep the heart right into poetry's beautiful smiles.


  • Antebellum
    May 15
    Edit | Reply
    I love the counting in this. If deffinitly caught me attention.


  • ElectricSunSet
    May 14

    Edit | Reply
    ver nicely written. i actually liked the part that read "This love is choking oh my dear"
    i understood. and i loved the whole things
    very nice imagery
    keep up the goooooodd work!!! :]


  • Jay81
    May 14
    Edit | Reply
    And the search continues... Well written, best of luck with your contests, and finding....
    Jay


  • awannabepoet
    May 14

    Edit | Reply
    Oh this is just fantastic, I love the message it brings and the image of the way we all hope to find a love eternal and that it is something nothing can ever make us forget.

    "Three words my dear, but lips turn cold
    I snip my love and exhale lace
    Fall into the open arms of Grace."

    These three lines are the key to this piece for me they say everything there is to say in this life, the three magic words "I love you" sometimes even they are lost yet they live on in your heart.

    I like it, I like it so!


  • darkdaughter
    May 14
    Edit | Reply

    Fantasti- mazing

    this poem has soul...truely


  • white stone
    May 14

    Edit | Reply
    "This love is choking oh my dear"
    I thought that read awkwardly. I enjoyed the sentiment and imagery of the rest of it, though, especially breathing lace.


  • enlightenedatheist
    May 14

    Edit | Reply
    i liked this alot. i feel like your ending was stronger than you beginging and that threw me off a little. But for a first draft i fell it was very nice.


  • kareneisenlord gold member
    May 8

    Edit | Reply

    There is always hope...

    This poem picked up as I read it and captured my interest. It holds and hope of an astounding transformation and rebirth through letting go and being reborn into new love and life. You are so talented Breezie! Karen

    I apologise for not reading more of your work earlier. Life has been making so man demands on me. I have been missing a lot here!


  • etoile
    February 13

    Edit | Reply
    i like the second stanza, it's so sweet. the imagery was nice too.

    thanks for entering and goodluck


  • Olivias Violin
    January 31
    Edit | Reply
    Well done. I like the ending!

1 - 15 of 15