With eyes closed, black veil covering her face,
she wonders what she will do now.
Her lover has been taken from her,
at an age where life is just beginning.
They shared a bond so strong,
1000 men could not sever.
Iridescent teardrops stream relentlessly
down her pale, sullen cheeks.
“Take me instead” she whispers,
as if someone would hear her plea.
She opens her pale emerald eyes,
swollen and crimson from crying and looks to the sky.
“I know you’ll be back for me”,
“You promised you’d always come back for me”
Mascara running down her face, she waits an eternity,
a lady in waiting, for her lover to return.
Author notes
pic prompt...woman with black veil over her face
http://khushi.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/beautiful_sadness.jpg
A contest entry
- Anything - to start with. by morgana raven.
550 points, ended February 5, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Year. by alexandra..
900 points, ended February 17, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Very well done. Very strong. I liked it!
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It's strong, that's undeniable.
The description is a bit pedestrian in some parts; "black veil covering her face"
"her lover has been taken from her"
"mascara running down her face"
And you used lover twice, which is a bit annoying.
Your grammar is good though.
"pale emerald eyes,
swollen and crimson from crying and looks to the sky."
I like this a lot
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wow
powerful, sad..the feeling of longing is nearly guttwrenching..i'm liking your style my friend..
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Very strong. I enjoyed the read poet!
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OH MY, I am SO impressed by this I am not even kidding, I didn't need for you to put the prompt in your author note I knew! which picture you were talking about, the description even in the first lines was wonderful. You have really captured that picture here and given it emotion. I have to applaud this, I have to. This is .. be proud, this is brilliant. Very very well written.
Thank you for entering.
Laura
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thanks sis for the kind comment!
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This is wonderful!! it almost breaks my heart. Having lost a lover its hard to move on with your life and you have penned the emotions so wonderfully!! thank you so much for this write and good luck with the contest!!
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thank you so much for the kind comment
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I have found a few pictures here, use whichever you feel you like, if none inspire you let me know and I'll get hunting again =)
http://www.lacoctelera.com/myfiles/missit-me-dominus/sad-girl.jpg
http://www.infoexpanse.com/images/0/s/img119_1.jpg
http://johnryanrecabar.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/medium_sadness1.jpg
http://khushi.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/beautiful_sadness.jpg
http://fc44.deviantart.com/fs19/f/2007/276/2/e/dark_sadness_by_LonelyPierot.jpg
These are the best I could find, hope they are inspiring, if not let me know.
Laura -
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thanks i'll work on it.
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