He sits by himself,
nobody talks to him and he doesn't enjoy it,
the pain is unbearable,
the love is not there.
She talks to herself,
she takes pills to satisfy her needs,
she doesn't know when she's gonna fall,
but she just climbs into her own shell.
He makes the right choices,
He loves the life he lives,
his little brother hates him,
but doesn't know where to begin.
She is the most popular girl,
everybody wants to be her,
but nobody knows what she goes through at home,
her father hit her,
she covers it up with make up,
she wants to be left alone.
He is the football captain,
every guy wants to be him,
every girl wants him,
the problem is he has a secret,
he loves a girl that nobody likes,
he decides to tell everyone,
i love her,
i will have her,
and i wanted you all to know,
i will have her even if you guys don't like her.
He makes his move and she is so shocked,
the oinly problem is that nobody wants to talk to him,
they don't care,
he doesn't care either,
he loves her,
she loves him,
they are the cutest couple in my eyes,
and i should know,
i'm their 16 year old daughter.
My father was a hero in my mothers eyes,
to me he is thegreatest man alive and i love him,
he loves us,
and he wants us to be together,
forever and always.
is there anything wrong with it?
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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this is kinda like one of my friends life is like noone knows what its like except me and him
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When you are in a situation like this.... You need to take a chance and try to talk to people that you don't talk to often... You have to make it better but hopefully his life is going to be better!!! Tell him I said good luck!!!!! An to stay as strong as he can and it will get better in do time!!!!
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Awww
Bless. That is probably the most beautiful and heartfelt poem I have ever read. It really touched me. The way you capture them as seperate people and then bring them together against all odd is perfect. Thank you so much for sharing : )
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you are welcome!! thank you for such great comments!!! i'm shaking so much since everybody loves it!!!! thanks for the applause!!
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I know I commented on this write befor... I just really realyl really liked it!! its very well done!!
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That's okay.. you can comment on it as many times as you want and i'll still thank you a million times over and over again!!!
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This is such a moving story, and it's even more beautiful because it's a true story. I love stories like this, so romantic and lovely
This makes me smile.
Blessings,
~Michaela~
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Thank you so much
i can't believe that i am getting great feedback from all of you guys and i love it because i like to be able to fix my poems and make them better but this one is about me and i like it for that reason.... but it wasn't a football captain, he was just a popular kid... but he was sweet and he gave up everything for me and now he's popular again.. now that he dumped me awhile ago... but he point is that one person can change a life and or save a million as long as they tryn and stick up for what is right.. this poem i would say explains my whole life... i see it happeneing and i step up and i change the fact that people are being ignorant and cruel to these kids because they are DIFFERENT! I am going to be that change in the WORLD that is going to save over a million lives.... 
for me!
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That is SO awesome, we need more people like you in this world It's an awesome ambition to want to change the world
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powerful
beautiful story and very touching. overwhelmed with emotions. im very proud of this piece. thank u. this made me smile
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thanks
thank you ever so much..... i wrote this after the song hero by superchick and it made me think of how our generation is so horrible.. i mean i am a 17 year old... well 16 until the 19th of feb..... but i live in harsh times and i see my friends hurt themselves in ways that make me wanna hurt my self and poems like these show how i feel and most of the time they do make people smile and i like that better than writing a sappy love poem to cheer someone up!!
thanks for the comment... and i'm glad i made you smile!
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awww this is truely a wonderfully romantic tale... I am so glad that it is a true one. Thanks for sharing this tale with us. It is a good write.
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:P
thanks..... these comments mean alot to me!! keep them coming because people like you and the others seriously help me improve and keep me to moving towards a bigger and better poem than anyone i have ever written!!!
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Awwwwwwwwwwww.... this is so amazing!! I love this... i read it thro 10 times and Cryed like 8 out of thoes 10.. Thank you soo much for writting this!!! ""they don't care,
he doesn't care either,
he loves her,
she loves him,
they are the cutest couple in my eyes,""
This right here is the part that got to me every time... true love is strong.. and at times it does conncor all.. sigh if only
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tear?
i know i cried because this is actually me that this happened to... but it wasn't a football player it was a senior in another school and he is now 18 turning 19 and he talks to me and cheers me up... thank you soooooo much because it makes my day!
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I love the image that u present here but I feel that ur sentence needs a little more framing!! Like for example you can seperate the guys part from the girls part!! Just to give it more affect like
He sits by himself,
nobody talks to him and he doesn't enjoy it,
the pain is unbearable,
the love is not there.
~~~
She talks to herself,
she takes pills to satisfy her needs,
she doesn't know when she's gonna fall,
but she just climbs into her own shell.
~~~
He makes the right choices,
He loves the life he lives,
his little brother hates him,
but doesn't know where to begin.
~~~
She is the most popular girl,
everybody wants to be her,
but nobody knows what she goes through at home,
her father hit her,
she covers it up with make up
she wants to be left alone.
Something like that!! To emphasize that you are talking about two different people!!
Otherwise, I think its a really nice story! I feel happy for you! It also teaches us that one should follow their heart!!
Thanks for sharing!
~pri
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thanks
okay when i get the chance i might just do that cause it would look a lot better thank you so much!
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This was a little confusing at some points but overall i liked it. Very well written story here.
Great write.
Laura -
wow what a surprise ending! i really liked it! well done and keep penning. i liked the most:
She talks to herself,
she takes pills to satisfy her needs,
she doesn't know when she's gonna fall,
but she just climbs into her own shell.
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thank you so much.. it's just so sad to deal with how people live now adays... it makes me wanna hurt myself when i see people hurting themselves and when someone does what that said "football captain" did, then the world becomes a truely better place to live.
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there is nothing wrong with it. it is so beautiful and i LOVE it so much!on the first few stanzas, i thought you were talking about ME for a while! jk. lol
~kAsSiE
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Thank youso much... I'm glad you
Liked it!!
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