Before we built walls
at least there was something to stand on
oh and the walls we did build
"I fucking hate white walls"
I wasnt just tripping, I hate these walls
Cold, barren, and empty
No matter how many posters fill their space
- just the same ucking white walls
The drawers and doors are falling off their hinges
Flying open when locked, sticking shut
and just falling apart until the point of use is falling apart
The plumbing is on its own schedule
paying no attention to when I call for water
Flowing freely in the middle of the night
Unable to produce a single stream
when you feel water is all you need
The floor is still there, hard wood and polished
we can still stand on it
We can stand, sing, dance.
the foundation is solid
but we only play games
childish and petty
And to think
I thought I could nurse you back to a healthy glow
that I could take trouble from your eyes
But I am not a shaman
and this house
is not a rehab
A contest entry
- enter a prewrite for comments! by yellow blue bus.
1800 points, ended June 10, 2009, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Winner Takes All.. (1000 points) by Ghetto Superstar..
1100 points, ended November 27, 2009, 188 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
this is very powerful. I love the ending stanza, it's so brilliant. this is filled with such anger and bitterness and I loved reading it. I thought the second stanza could be fiddled with too make it less confusing, but otherwise amazing write.
goodluck and thanks for entering -
And to think
I thought I could nurse you back to a healthy glow
that I could take trouble from your eyes
But I am not a shaman
and this house
is not a rehab ...
makes me wonder how many feel this way towards me ... the write was amazing ... the effect on me ... muse like ... thank you ... for writing ...
-
hmm, strongly expressed emotions. Nice job yeaa. I like it. Keep writing ya. Cheers!!
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