We stood by that lake for so many hours
Hand in hand
We took long walks in the heat, We scoured
That abandoned land
We came up with plans, for a new world
A perfect escape
We sat in the trees, with the squirrels
We pondered fate
And every day, right around sundown
We'd cry a little
We'd pull out a pad that was ragged and brown
We'd quietly scribble
When the light was completely gone
We'd lay alone
On the lawn, waiting for Dawn
While wind blown
But in the morning, it was always the same
Squirrels scampering
We'd wake up hopefully, looking in vain
Alone, but heartbeat hammering
And so the same day would happen again
each time longer
The lake, and heat, tears, and wind on skin
We grew, each day, fonder
But the abandoned land grew much less nice
It lost its soul
Since that day that We paid such an awful price
We knew he'd always remember Dawn though.
Author notes
In case you didn't catch it, the poem is about a boy named We. Worth reading twice I think...
A contest entry
- very tough contest :P (don't just sit and enjoy your holidays without poetry ) by abuyi.
1400 points, ended February 22, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please comment on anything, I'd love to hear it! Good or bad.
Comments
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This piece flows very, very well! It is really good! Thanks so much for such a wonderful share, my friend! Best wishes to you!!!
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i like this write.. it flows well has nice structure and a decent rhyming scheme.. its not simple yet has simplicity. fine imagery.. only dull background.
thanks for entering.. i really enjoyed reading it.. i felt it is quite contemporary.. a boy name we.. wish u all the luck
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This works well for me
It has all the elements of a well written poem. Good voice, good story, flows well, no distracting grammar flaws. And it is interesting and enjoyable to read.
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