You know what we hate?
We hate love songs.
Because they remind us of what we do not have.
Sometimes I lay on my side, and I can almost feel the warm arms encircling me,
like a phantom limb not amputated in any recent memory.
We say no, no thank you
To love notes and hand holds
I'll stand with you in silence on a hillside, watching the sunrise,
but never will I kiss you in the cafeteria.
For this place, this place that I come to every day
has twisted what it means to be.
I'll be damned and I will go down swinging if this life
is narrowed down to a three inch piece of insertable computer plastic,
if I become some
hair twisting,
nail buffing,
tumbling,
texting,
giggling,
cheer
princess.
I'd rather climb up the jungle gym in the early morning and watch the sun rise,
as if music is playing along to the sequence,
you can almost hear the souls of the earth singing
reaching their crescendo as the first rays spill over the mountain
I know it's rising for me, for you, from God,
an early Christmas present for the little sinners of earth.
So we walk alone, seen for our faces and unseen for our hearts.
I have to check myself in the mirror between every bell,
as if to make sure I'm still myself.
Or at least that is what I tell you.
For the truth is, we are afraid
of losing this fight.
Inside of me, 20,000 leagues under this sea,
my face and my soul are at battle,
warring inside of me for precedence.
I will not become like them;
Shallow, insipide, angst ridden and self absorbed,
riding their ennui like a school bus.
I'd like to hold on to my secrets
Sacred relics of my past
like crystal skulls and old baseball bats
Of riding down the hill on my huffy,
hair streaming, blood singing
Of building forts,
and of floating downwind,
And of late night pillow fights,
spent with nail polish and slurpees.
For the truth is, we are afraid.
Afraid of love, and all the entrails,
Afraid of being seen, and of seeing,
even though it is what we want most.
I thought I was in love once,
with a boy with long hair and a scarred soul
he hid behind his wit.
I'm sure all I was in love with was his love for me.
He let me know not in words, just in his eyes, what it feels like to be unwanted,
like a baby left on the front step of a cathedral,
wrapped up in a blanket, fingers flailing, gurgling at the injustice
How sometimes he burns his fingers just to feel the flames licking at their tips,
as if reminding him of life.
He treasures the one thing they left him
Merely a figment, reminding him of what will never come
and when he feels alone he pulls it into the empty place in his heart
and rests.
The only person we ever really loved
was the only person who ever really hurt us
She held our hand when we were sick,
and stroked our head to her lullaby
It is she who's funeral we sometimes imagine.We tell ourselves we'd rather see her dead
than dumpster diving for discarded dresses at the Goodwill,
with crystal in her veins and sorrow in her heart.
But the real reason, I think, is that we enjoy the sympathy playing upon the faces of the mourners
as they pass us.
The whispered condolences, as we stand with our heads bowed, weeping noiselessly, shoulders shaking.
How messed up are we?
She is the one whos name I whisper late at night,
drowning in my tears, splashing in my fears,
"Mommy", I whisper. "Come back to me,"
There are some things that we don't *bunny* talk about
So gaurd this well,
for they are yours, and mine, and Gods.
This is for every in between who needs an out.
"Screw life."
We all scream for ice cream.
Don't screw life,
rather let life take you away
and love you with it's gentle caress
thick and swollen with the unshed tears of the universe
with the eternal children in mortal bodies, waiting to be born
booming with laughter at the unforseen complications
so early forgotten, and so easily remembered with humor.
Guess what, Shish Boom Bah?
I will sharpen my ruler down to a point and free your hearts from your chests.
Can't you see theres no soul in hairspray, irons, and powder?
I may envy your glossy blonde hair,
but I've never wanted the glossy look, so blatant in your eyes,
for my own.
Maybe you shut yourself down every once in a while
to charge and reboot
Or maybe you just can't handle life
Too much sorrow,
too much strife
Well you will be chewed up and *bunny*ted out
In this so called hierarchy, in this so called life
which, for so long, pitted itself against us.
For those who like to say
"I'm not strange, I'm just M!zzundastood,"
I say, seize the day and never look back
There nothing wrong with being strange, as long as it's tempered with the gentle joy of happiness.
You'll only live in this body once,
So jump off of rooftops into swimming pools filled with cherry jello,
Drink pitcher after pitcher of kool-aid as you lounge in the blazing summer sunlight
Talking to clouds and naming the flowers that grow wild in the side of the road.
Leave your earthly bounds behind you now, step forward into the northern lights.
We are young
and
we
do
stupid
*bunny*
sometimes.
Welcome these opportunities, say yes to everything life throws your way
Pierce your belly button on a park bench,
Get high off the world in the thick moonlight
Spend cold nights coocooned in a blanket with your best friend
on the back porch, staring up at the stars.
Climb onto carports and paint rocks with polish,
and scream, scream, SCREAM along to your favorite band,
Even if you'd never been interested in them before you danced with the universe while drenched.
Swing high and far, your lungs dropping down to your toes as you descend, screaming
"I AM TODAY"
And dance through the sprinklers late at night,
full clothed and feet pounding to the rhythm of God,
never forgotten songs rippling through your brain as you spin.
Sway back and forth to the breeze, holding hands with strangers
and making eyes at pretty eyed boys,
trying to look suave while they're smoking cigarettes
Let your wet hair slide back from your face as you tilt out of the open window of the moving car and sing to pedestrians.
They boo.
But who cares, because you're young, and you can play with the stars and make love to the silence,
all inside the confines of your mind.
Show them your world, and never be ashamed.
Author notes
shakethedust
---
good
In a list
- The Loft group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Hollow Point Persuasions by karma-n-peace.
1050 points, ended February 4, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Shine The Brightest In A Writers Sky (( Looking For New Favorites)) by HereComesTheSun.
700 points, ended February 16, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Mm'kay. It's Free-verse Time :] by Sunkissed xo.
400 points, ended February 19, 68 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Two entries. All prewrite. by morgana raven.
400 points, ended February 23, 123 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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O my God, I swear and I am being serious I took a while to read this, but I was so into this. This is the absolute best poem I have read on this whole entire website today. This made me think about when I was young and I was a late bloomer and a very shy strange awkward kid..."I'm not strange, I'm just M!zzundastood," This was most definatly something to be very proud of, I am jealous that I cannot come up with something this good. You are a very talented writer, however there is only one thing I would change. Dont edit your curse words out, this is art and art should not be censored!
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:] thank you so so much.
i took a while to write this, trying to conjure up all the images that come with being an adolescent - in between the ages, awkward, trapped, frustrated, dreaming, etc.
i didnt edit those curse words out, by the way, the site automatically edits them for those who have their settings set to under 18, or something like that ;]
thank you for taking the time to comment and read this. -
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well thats definatly not cool that they edit that, but i can tell you took your time, it was amazing...thank you for writing this
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Excellent
This is amazing and I would love hearing more from you.
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thanks
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wow.. excellent work. very powerful and convincing emotion in this poem. great work!! a bit long.. but still fantastic!
thanks for entering! and best of luck in the contest!!
Your Co-Judge,
-Lemon Bee-
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Positive: wow really really loved this the words you choose fit perfectly i normally am not a fan of what i call "vent writing" but this has an inspiring touch to this. it shows truth to all teenagers and really fits to a T my idea of love. great interpretation and well told
Negative: at times it seemed to ramble this is a bit long so when writing such ridiculous amazing l piece just remember the ADHD like me :]
great work
thanks for entering -
Let your wet hair slide back from your face as you tilt out of the open window of the moving car and sing to pedestrians.
They boo.
But who cares, because you're young, and you can play with the stars and make love to the silence,
all inside the confines of your mind.
Show them your world, and never be ashamed
This is not too long for me, I admit when I first opened it and noticed it's length I said to myself " this better be good cuz I'm tired".
Everything you wrote, every word; is exactly what I needed to hear.
The ability to just be has been lost and as I read this I felt those feelings again.
What it's like to SCREAM your favorite song and to laugh at pain...at yourself.
Thanks for sharing this!
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Wow
This is truly amazing
Such deep insight and strong emotional delivery
This was very well penned -
For a 15 year old, your insight is amazing.
I have bookmarked this poem, it's a masterpiece.
Long poems do not usually keep me interested, this one did.
You write very well.
A talent I am jealous of!
Random questions, what the hell is Kool-aid? Shish Boom Bah?
You have some incredible lines in this poem. Great write! -
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You've never heard of kool-aid?? Blasphemy!
Kool-Aid: Made from 2 cups of sugar, a pitcher of water, and a whole lot of colored sodium :] A drink for little kids, normally.
And "shish boom bah" is just a phrase used by people to mock cheerleaders, haha.
Thanks so much for your feedback, I'll stop by to check out your stuff one of these days :]
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this was very long lol
I'd rather climb up the jungle gym in the early morning and watch the sun rise,
as if music is playing along to the sequence,
you can almost hear the souls of the earth singing
these lines were beautiful, they had such a innocent pleasure in simple things it was really nice to read. very beautifully worded
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i love it
it speaks the truth and should open guys eyes!!!!
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Thank you so much! I was worrying it was too long and not attention gripping enough, but thank you so much
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