there used to be something
in this place,
that made me think of laughter
and reasons.
like algebra,
there were equations that winked
and lured you in, but you liked it
anyway
even though no one else did.
i.
sometimes, i catch you
staring at nothing but catching bits of
offhand sense, glimpses of truth
and i pray between your commas
in your seldom speeches
that you won’t give up on us,
that it wouldn’t always be this way
with me going crazy,
thinking what ifs and not knowing
about you, what you do, who you are
and still supposed to love you.
ii.
and there are sometimes
i want to keep going about moments;
about your morning breakfasts,
scalded hands, hug-me-tights.
it’s like a lovely lie,
that you just want to keep telling.
Comments
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I liked this, it expresses the way one feels in times when love is luring in....what ifs are driving you nuts...
It's like lovely lies you want to keep telling...
over and over and over...
I loved that last line...well in fact I loved it all
Nothing wrong with the flow for me
XXJeannette
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omgosh. dude dude, dont be a nerd. your nerdom shows in the first few lines my dear you need to get professinal help (me) right now.
now, for the serious bit:
oh.my.holy.macaroni.pepperoni.moly.cow. (yes i'm done) i enjoyed this poem. tho it felt like there were some "off" parts here. as in, the flow got jagged or something. i dont know, probably just my mind reading, its like a hurricane in there. anyhoo, creative lines used. your ending was felt so "settled" and like it was calm yet sad
i like the emotions you put into this poem, some i can relate, some just scared me. okay no they didnt. but all in all, this was a unique one (u changed your style didnt u. with the whole i. ii. thingy)
keep the pen going. keep your mind flowing. and i'm gone
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I enjoyed reading this
poem. It has some interesting lines and images - the sort I like to think about. Blessing to you. Frans
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