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Flotsam Near A Shore

raging tide of proving kiss, flotsam near a shore
lie to me softly, bind now and forevermore~

think you with this blindfold, I cannot sense you near?
limitation devised to place soap 'pon these ears.
self-fulfilled questing, standards shallow in its core.

torpid musings befuddled gaze, knocked to the floor
never let me go, that is clearly what you swore.
free heart's feather fossilized within amber tear
~bind now and forevermore.

misunderstood muddle, locked shut behind your door
fear of my leaving, becomes that which I deplore.
this emerald green velvet you wish me to wear
innocence stolen, sweeps through empty pewter stare
jewels not but fancy shackles, brace oneself for
~flotsam near a shore.

Author notes


 

Dual-Refrain Rondeau (an original variation by Blue Rew)

Dual Refrain Rondeau is an original variation on the classic French
Rondeau form {AABBA, AABR, AABBAR} that uses two different refrains taken
from lines 1 & 2 using line 2 refrain first & 1's refrain last.
Classic Rondeau is a French form, 15 lines long,
consisting of three stanzas: a quintet, a quatrain, and a
sestet with a rhyme scheme as follows: aabba aabR aabbaR.
Lines 9 and 15 are short - a refrain (R) consisting of a phrase taken from
line one. The other lines are longer (but all of the same metrical
length).

In a list

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • Kendal Palmer gold member
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    good luck with your contest entry...I think this is a fine write...I love your cool transforming pic too!! way cool...how do you do that? peace and light always in all ways...kp


  • Keirii
    May 3

    Edit | Reply
    The ending really described the characters feelings and emotions.
    Especially the part about the jewelry being refered to shackles.
    This whole poem is truly complex, and it can be taken different way, but I think that what I got out of it was a woman who was in love and had her innocence taken away by the man she loves.

    Am I right?

    You use such complex words, I'm trying to understand. I think I at least brushed the surface of what you were trying to write, hopefully

    Anyways, I've rambled on enough

    Great job and good luck with your future poems!!!


    • Hetha gold member
      May 3
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, I appreciate the insight and compliments on my piece.
      You came close in the interpretation. He did much more than try to steal her innocence. He used bribery, lies and entrapment, to keep her from leaving the relationship, well after he ransacked her life. Her independent nature scorns him in this piece over his jealousy and temper tantrums. Hope that clarifies it.

      I'm glad you enjoyed my work.
      ~Hetha


  • Sadistic klown girl gold member
    April 30

    Edit | Reply
    "misunderstood muddle, locked shut behind your door
    fear of my leaving, becomes that which I deplore.
    this emerald green velvet you wish me to wear
    innocence stolen, sweeps through empty pewter stare
    jewels not but fancy shackles, brace oneself for
    ~flotsam near a shore."

    I liked this last stanza. It was really interesting and very vivid in the imagination. This whole poem shows a lot of imagination. Thank you for sharing it with us.


  • a59teeth
    April 21

    Edit | Reply
    i most loved the phrase, 'jewels not but fancy shackles.' there is much said in that alone.

    i admit i had to look up flotsam....interesting word!! nice work and interesting form!


  • sorries
    April 21

    Edit | Reply
    wonderful use of the form. great vocabulary and use of that also. always hard for me to deal with the metrical length thing. Nice job.


  • Draig aine gold member
    February 17
    Edit | Reply

    stunning

    I am awed!!!


    • Hetha gold member
      February 19
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you I am honored you enjoyed it. It was a fun variation on the form to try.


  • Maxboy gold member
    February 15

    Edit | Reply
    I too found this to be sad and a very interesting form, very nice wright.



    • Hetha gold member
      February 19

      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      I'm glad you enjoyed reading it.

  • piccola silver member
    February 14

    Edit | Reply
    I always read your work and admire you for your ability to conquer new forms without fear and the work is always beautiful. Not only that but you have a wonderful vocabulary.

  • A-muse-in-writer
    February 12
    Edit | Reply

    Well done

    I love this, so deep, well structured, excellently written, brilliant word choice.


  • untouched pages
    February 11

    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed this write... I found it to be a tad sad.. but that could just be the mood im in.. Thank you for penning this great write. The imagery and metaphors in here just blew me way with the endless possibilities very well done!!


  • Blue Rew silver member
    January 25

    Edit | Reply
    Flotsam is one of those words I can't help but love. You explore its implications well with this love-sorrow metaphor. The refrains are used to full possibilities as the lines sway the context.
    I am honored that you found my variation a fit
    for such 'motion of word. Blue


  • Rejected Easter Egg
    January 25

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for sharing this I'm glad I took the time to read it, brilliantly done good luck in your future writings


  • Sandygram
    January 25

    Edit | Reply

    Lovely Poem!!!!!!!!

    You do have a wonderful way with words. This is beautiful and such a pleasure to read this morning. Thank you for sharing . You take care, Sandy


  • maralisa silver member
    January 25
    Edit | Reply
    aw a beautul poem thank you for sharing maralisa

1 - 17 of 17