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I Could

I could
Tell her that he loved her,
Or I could let her see him as as she did
(But you'd never hear me anyway, so what's
the point?)

I could
Write the world a story
Or keep it to myself
(But that would be crime,
And I've got enough sins to pay for)

I could
Catch them as they fell
Or let their fingers slip from my grasp
I'm neither a killer
Nor a saint
(But I do my best)

I could
Become the man I know I'll be
Or kill the dream in it's crib
(Accidental, they'll say, But I'll know
as, I suspect
will you.)

Because you, like all the rest, find ignorance to be bliss
And silence to be golden

I could save a thousand lives
And destroy a million more

I could answer all the "why's?"
But always ask myself "what for?"

I could end it all right here
(In more ways that what you think)
But that would be cheating
And I am no cheat

I could open your heart with a poem
I could kiss your lips with a song
I could end the world with "I love you"
I could heal the world with a
Holocaust.

I could.

Author notes

by Lorenzo Pangelinan

I was inspired mainly by the choices people make, and the variety of consequences that come about from them. I was actually first inspired to write 'I Could' because of the song "Handlebars" by Flobots. I mis-heard the line "I could end the world in a Holocaust" as "HEAL the world in a Holocaust". That mis-hearing led to this poem

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 17 of 17
  • This was nicely done. I enjoyed reading this one. It was very good. It had a good flow. Thanks for entering and best of luck too you in the contest.

  • A very interesting poem to read and ponder. You've done a fine job with this piece. Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for entering.

  • O.O.....
    I really loved that. you totally have a point. choices are everything. I loved the last stanza and the way you added things in (), made a real impact.
    thanks soooo much for entering, ^^


  • Evenstar gold member
    March 27

    Edit | Reply
    A good poem.I'm sure in any other contest this would be great. I liked some of the style you put into it,and it represented love in a controlled world well.
    However,you need to read the RULES.
    and i think it needs to relate a touch more with the book 1984.

  • Guapia
    March 8
    Edit | Reply
    Nice to see another flobots fan, I disagree with other people who dislike the repetition and brackets, I think it works well, although not traditional.. Who cares?

    I have to ask though, why did you break the line at "as, I suspect//
    will you"

    Was it to cause a longer pause, or just for the sake of it?

    thanks for entering!


  • still.she.waits
    February 21

    Edit | Reply
    i like this, but at the same time, i dont. i dont like the repition, or the explanations that are in the bracket, but at the same time, whats in the brackets are more interesting than the poem itself.
    im torn


  • DeadlyPoetic88
    February 20

    Edit | Reply
    isnt it interesting how one persons choice can impact so many even those one who are not presently involved. it is astounding. excellent write. thank you for entering my contest. it is truly a tough one to judge.


  • Pretty Disaster
    February 18
    Edit | Reply
    This was a good write, hard to read at times, and I think you might want to correct the line "find ignorance to be to be bliss". Thank you for telling me your inspiration, it sounds like something I would do =P. Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.
    --Pretty Disaster


  • Lady Michaella
    February 14

    Edit | Reply
    wow... really good and beautiful poem. very well written. excellentwork here.. i really enjoyed reading this. i feel so hopeful when reading this. excellent write!

    thanks for entering! and best of luck in the contest!!

    Your Co-Judge,
    -Lemon Bee-
    xx


  • alexandra.
    February 5
    Edit | Reply
    I love.
    I love.
    I love.
    I love.
    I love.

    I love the brackets. More specifically I love what it is in the brackets.

    "Accidental, they'll say, But I'll know
    as, I suspect
    will you"

    "I could heal the world with a
    Holocaust.

    I could."

    I love.
    I love this.
    I love you.

    Please tell me who you are.
    Now.


  • BlackBloodyRose
    February 4

    Edit | Reply
    wow!

    seriously one of the best things I have EVER read, i love the way you formatted this and would love to try sumthing similar but know that i coulndt this is fantastic. there are so many options in life, good and evil. i love this. just....wow


  • Shadow Stalker
    February 2
    Edit | Reply

    Nice

    This is a very unique poem and well written. Thanks for entering and good luck.


  • hotchocolate gold member
    February 2

    Edit | Reply
    This is written really well and full of emotion! I enjoyed reading and thank you for your entry. Good luck in the contest


  • Jesann gold member
    January 29

    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed reading this poem'.
    I loved it all.. but was esp taken with the lines..
    "I could open your heart with a poem
    I could kiss your lips with a song"
    This is a unique and beautiful poem.
    Brilliant.


  • Bourne Darkness
    January 29

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    wow, its so...true. i've never seen anyone approach any related subject in this manner before. very well done!


  • Fr33BirdFaLLin
    January 29
    Edit | Reply

    Great

    *clap*


  • Reverend X
    January 28

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing

    This is actually the first poem I have reviewed so far and it does not dissapoint one bit. What a great way to start off the contest. I'm not sure if this is the best poem submitted for this contest but I can without a doubt say that this is one of the best poems I have read on this site. After the contest is over I look forward to viewing your page and seeing more of what you have to offer. I'm blown away...

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