*Not really a poem* Just things I wanted to get off my mind

For one more time.  I wish I could find that one, that one girl that would put up with me as long as you did.  Once again I want to hold that one, one girl in my arms and feel like all is right.  One more chance, that's all I want, to be that guy that someone calls because they had a bad day.  The guy they look at and see their future in his eyes; his hands hold not only dirt and grit, but her heart.
For once, I don't want to play the fool.  I haven't decided whether I am looking too hard, or not looking hard enough.

"It makes no sense if you have to climb a fucking mountain, just to see the smallest good, the dimmest light on the other side." 
But it's not in my nature to turn away when things get dark.  Or is it?  Maybe I should have realized this with the one I really loved and cared about.

Don't get me wrong, I do care about others; as well, I can see myself with certain people, but it's a matter of mutual feelings.  What do they think of me?  Is my age, or the fact that I dated her sister really the issue?
I feel that everyone can relate to being hurt in relationships.  It's the nature of the whole thing.  But the one thing I can't stand, is people using that to get to you, then throw you to the curb.  Fuck that.

No calls, no texts, no replies; I do, I do understand that you are a busy person.  A mother, a daughter, a sister, full time worker, but girl....When you're "just sitting at home" yet you don't want to see me, you don't really want me around.  I understand I can't take all your time; also, I've learned not to intrude into lives, but a month?  A month of blowing me off, a month of not seeing you....Girl, you didn't want to be with me. 
I should have been smart enough to know one night of drunken I love you's and fairy tale dreams meant nothing.  So now our plans, turned into my escape.
And I know I'll hurt her, on some level, but I'll be with someone that wants to be there with me.  I won't bother you anymore, muffin.