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Dawn

Clustered
black clouds await,
on the pale horizon,
the rising sun's pink, red, orange
tinges.

A contest entry

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Comments

  • piccola
    January 28, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    I see a storm brewing. you have managed to paint a picture here. I think that L4 needs another syllable. 2-4-6-8-2


    • Shenton silver member
      January 28, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      piccola

      Thankyou for commenting.

      My syllable count for line 4 is
      the/ ri/ sing/ sun's/ pink/ red/ or/ ange.

      Best wishes from 'down-under'.
      Shenton