You waltzed me ‘round the world-
a whirl of miles and smiles,
promising beyond the moon.
Gold dust on lent wings
that spread in the breathless expanse-
dancing freedom’s beat,
diving high and soaring low,
laughing on the dawn.
Sailing and dipping through the chorus
on my own through the verse
slapping happy in puddles of rainbows
never reaching the end.
Patience as thin as the atmosphere,
you flapped on to brighter skies.
I watched you wane to a wispy trail.
The breeze blew your echo away
leaving memories and song
to float me along.
You boasted exhilaration yours to hold,
but it has no home.
Shedding lent wings for my own
that sprouted in joy.
Now I waltz alone,
on moonbeams and magic
and smile a while
for Fortune’s mirth.
Author notes
Prompt: "Killing the Blues" by Robert Plant, Alison Krauss
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFGzPYbHB-w
A contest entry
- Somebody said they saw me... by ErrantHeart.
1000 points, ended March 16, 2009, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any comments welcome
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I like how you kept the perception of 'height' in
this poem. This made it seem like you were in the clouds. When you wrote in the first stanza, 'on' the
dawn, I thought at first that it was peculiar. Then it
dawned on me that that was the perfect word.
"Slap happy in puddles of rainbows" came across great!
A pleasing to read poem, this one.
~Kley
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"slapping happy in puddles of rainbows" I like that, very much. In fact I love the entire tone of this poem. Swept away on lent wings...a nice feeling.
Thanks for entering. -
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Thank you so much, it was fun to write from the song.
KW ~
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Now I waltz alone,
on moonbeams and magic
and smile a while
for Fortune’s mirth.
Loved the imagery here
Nicely done
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Thanks so much!!!
KW~
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I love your imagery in this, especially the ' lent wings '
and 'slapping happy in puddles of rainbows' those two lines particularly made me smile. Although the whole piece felt uplifting and wonderful.
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment, I really appreciate it!! Im glad it helped a smile
KW~
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It has a nice, lilting feel to it. I don’t know the song (of the prompt), so cannot address that portion.
I like your: "slapping happy in puddles of rainbows".
I especially like: "Shedding lent wings for my own / that sprouted in joy." That made me
Good work, KW.
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Thank you so much! Your comment made me
KW~
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depth of emotion
such exquiste wording and imagery. I love the lines 'Now I waltz alone,
on moonbeams and magic
and smile a while'
wow- beautiful with a tinge of sadness
Love RareFlower
x
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Thank you RareFlower, I so appreciate you reading this and your lovely comments
KW~
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Wonderful
Very well done. Best of luck in the contest.
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