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The Box He's In

Missing image

Darkness overcomes the core of his mentality




Imprisoned inside his own sealed box



struggling



to suck in the fresh air




through the cracks of life



pushing



on the walls of despondent emotions



not being able to break through



scratching



on the barrier of ruminations



pleading for that sweet release



wanting



the tranquility he now thinks is




nonexistent














Author notes

The pictures used with this write I do not claim as my own. Pictures found on google images and flickr.com

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • mcope8050
    May 4

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing,,,, much different than others i've read of yours,,,,

    A diffent depth completely, showing a different depth of youself and you talent,,,, I CONTINUE TO BE IMPRESSED!!!! thanks once again


  • Upon Deaths Meeting
    March 23

    Edit | Reply
    Ooh. This is very deep, Choco. I love this side to you maybe even more than your sexual side. I love both sides, but this one seems a bit more personal... even though you're talking about someone else. It just seems very deep and kind of sad, in a way. I loved this entire piece, everything about it. It's deep, different from what I've read of yours and just plain fantastic.

    Keep up the good work. I won't stop reading your stories until I stop reading other peoples' stories on here and leave the site. It's just something I wouldn't want to give up, since you have such a wonderful talent and are a wonderful AP Family Member of mine.


  • Paloszoo gold member
    March 16

    Edit | Reply
    GREAT PICTURE! Your piece fits it beautifully! Thanks for entering my contest! Good luck! I'm honored to have you show your work here!


  • Forgotten Anomaly
    March 11

    Edit | Reply
    This is wonderfully writen, very well done and the picture fits perfectly. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.

  • A floatingleaf silver member
    February 1
    Edit | Reply
    Great write, visual insight...

  • liltxgirl
    January 28
    Edit | Reply
    that was beautiful it makes you think and i like that. great job keep it up.

  • StarLover
    January 28

    Edit | Reply
    MMM sad and loanly! I too have not see a poem like this although my "counting sheep" is similer! anyway I LOVE IT! Fantastic work! xoxo Miranda


  • Erozay
    January 26
    Edit | Reply
    ive never seen a poem done like this i like it


  • Mistress Leala silver member
    January 25

    Edit | Reply
    Very powerful write. The picture flowed well with the words and helps with the visonary of how the mans emotions reflect his life.


  • Purple Orchid
    January 25

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is very powerful. i like your take on the picture and showing the desperateness of the man's emotions. great poem!


  • Maxboy gold member
    January 25

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, very powerful write girl, depression and despare comes through.

    Well Done....Best wishes in the contest


  • darell
    January 25

    Edit | Reply

    Intense!

    This was a powerfully moving piece
    that struck the cords of emotional
    imprisonment. Like the photo provided
    there was a sense of being caged mentally.
    Many live in this brutal type of confinement
    and are robbed of life's many treasures.
    Such as love and happiness.
    Excellent piece. Best wishes


  • Wandering Woodchuck silver member
    January 25

    Edit | Reply
    Well done. Very powerful words. We are all trapped at times. Your poem reflects that feeling well.

    Mike

  • mcope8050
    January 25
    Edit | Reply
    SIMPLE powerfull WORDS!!!!!!nice form really makes it joy to read,,, nicely done,,, thanks for sharing such talent with the rest of us,,,
    MICHAEL


  • dannyjay
    January 25
    Edit | Reply
    this was a very nice read, the pic really helps set the tone

  • A-muse-in-writer
    January 25
    Edit | Reply

    Powerful

    Wow, I am impressed, such a stunning creation here. Beautifully crafted. *applauds*


  • JaydensNanas
    January 25
    Edit | Reply

    WOW!!

    THIS is an amazing write!!! LOVED it!! Awesome job fellow writer!!


  • Desire gold member
    January 24

    Edit | Reply

    Wow~

    Oh My Word this is one Powerful verse which takes the reader right there as if trapped in the box with him
    Oy!! Excellent take on the prompt also the picture and border so compliments- You are so darn good at imagery in so few words~
    Also love the single word emphasis~
    so grabs~
    Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Voice~
    Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet One
    Best wishes in the contest too
    with much love & light~ Desire~*~

  • liltxgirl
    January 24
    Edit | Reply
    that was great. loved it .


  • penman gold member
    January 24
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Oh wow, love the ending. You did great. So perfect for the prompt. Best of luck in the contest.

1 - 20 of 20