16 years; don't know what got me this far
In the city starin' up, lights blockin' the stars
My mind drifts; all the while time sits
Wishing the better life; prison and dead alike
AK's, Barrettas strike, another man dead tonight
Bitches givin' head tonight, diseases are spread tonight
A kid wet the bed tonight; crying, lost a pet tonight
A hurt soul still in love forced itself to forget tonight
Wanted to go out but his parents wouldn't let tonight
Suicidal thoughts, decided to slit her neck tonight
More murder, 'cause one strives for respect tonight
A daddy lost his job, won't have a check tonight
Kicked out the house, grandson gotta step tonight
Parents can't help but fight, no promises kept tonight
Poor families in this nation begging for help tonight
Vexed tonight; why wonder what the next is like
I already know..
Comments
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"In the city starin' up, lights blockin' the stars"
I just wrote a quic journal about how my city lacks stars at night and it sucks because of the bright lights. Sometimes I want to just lay on my roof and blackout the city so I can star gaze in the peace and familiarity of my own city.
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Welcome to Allpoetry
Ok this started really well, but when you moved every line into having "tonight" at the end it lost the feeling.
The repetition felt forced and unnecessary.
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