she fell down
the rabbit hole again
tears pour
from her eyes on and on
faster than the soil
can absorb them
nor dilute
the bloodstain
on her dress
a slit on her tulle skirt
creases around her knees
it's not the Cheshire Cat
but a kitten confidential
that sits on it
as she cries...
her clenched fists
cover her face
and on her wrist
bracelets
of black and white definition
matches her
and her hiding place
where
she is away from everyone
that are dressed to dazzle
and no one wants a dirty girl
Author notes
photo: from Google
A contest entry
- PICTURE PROMPT by leeshylou.
525 points, ended February 1, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think...
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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brilliant
"and no one wants a dirty girl" True.
beautiful write. i enjoyed every line...including the image.
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Thank you
I never expect the read...and it really did make me smile
as I haven't been writing here for quite sometime now
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haha,
well this was beautiful, i don't think people will stop reading it.
its funny because when you grow up people always sugarcoating things, but you just laid this "fairytale" out. [ I hope some kid comes across this.loll. jk] -
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lol
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Great write. The poem is as amazing as the photo.
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Christopher, Thank you
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Wow. This peice is amazing. I dont think i have any bad critism, its great. good luck in the poem.
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"...and no one wants a dirty girl." Whew! This last line is awesome! Your talent shines on and on, dear one. Love, Lane
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I love where you took the prompt...
a very dark piece. Kind of like Tim Burton's take on Lewis Carroll. Very gritty...I like it alot.
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ohmygod. this poem is beautiful and very very painful.
i love how you gave life to this picture. you wrote about it without a flaw and your words just flow so well. the imagery was stunning, and the last poem was really heart-stabbing.
keep penning
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What a great write! It would seem the picture had every inch of it described in definition, though with a keen perception of what was going on inside the girls mind and heart.
I loved every word and I thank you for the read, Poetess...
Ron...
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Wonderfully descriptive, and powerful. Love the story and the ominous tone with "kitten confidential" (what does she say to the kitten). Nicely written.
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Excellent!
I like this very descriptive piece, so vivid, and your talent show-cases here beautifully!!! You did a wonderful job with the given prompt, and I wish you all the best within this contest Fly Shy~
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Anna - glad to see you back in the game! Another brilliant job, I think. In the 4th line, should the first "on" be a "from"? The mention of a bloodstain adds mystery and pathos. The last line is great, as usual. Congrats!
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wow, powerful..
very grapic imagery (words n pics)makes this story 'dig' in you deep..exceptional write my friend
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Very sad and visual, love it!
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Lovely story poem you've writen here... liked the way you'e shaped the original Alice in Wonderland story!
~ Nicolette
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This actually reminds me of a story I wrote ages ago, except in the story, the girl's cat was a stuffed one. But she suffered possibly from some of the same hurts as your girl here.
The allusion to Alice is good.I'm sure she feels like she is shrinking like Alice too.
There are people who can see beyond the dirt, beyond the hurt. Hopefully I am one of them. Hopefully there are some that can see below all my flaws...I'm starting to doubt that one however, lol
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Oh, this isn't only very good but also quite original and unique way to use the idea of Alice.
Well done Anna
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Thank you for entering your poem
This was definitely a stand out write as you took the prompt somewhere new.
I especially love.....
where
she is away from everyone
that are dressed to dazzle
and no one wants a dirty girl
Good luck in my contest
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