Repetition of a shallow hope
Wafting softly 'bove the rolling snow
Pensive slumber with the fickle slope
Trees are bending by the river flow
Blending inward I succumb to dream
A contest entry
- 10/30/30 QUICKIE! by Ademon.
850 points, ended January 24, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-write challenge! by Lady Michaella.
485 points, ended February 20, 66 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - favourite prewrites, please; by epitome.
500 points, ended August 14, 82 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Good Luck!
I love this. I like rhyme, but struggle to find poets who can use it without letting it hinder their rhythm or diction, whereas you've used it so naturally. The last line is also very well written, and I think it's a good take on the conventional 'slipping into dream'.
Can I ask what the title means? I'm intrigued
Good luck. -
wow... i love this...... im so tired right now.. so if a poem can get to me through my drowsiness.. its got to be pretty dam good
thanks for entering my contest!
and best of luck!!
your judge,
-Lemon Bee-
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Words are yours, man! Didn't waste a single syllable.
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Your word choice is fantastic. Your imagery also amazing. Only thing I didn't like was the font colour but thats not the poem is it
Great work here.
Laura -
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Thanks and I know I just qickly pressed submit without giving it much thought but now its fixed
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The way you wrote this and spaced everything out completely reminds me of some of my poetry and how I write it, and the last line a solid blow to my mind!
Blending inward I succumb to dream
nicely done.
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Thanks Im trying to be more imagery focused in my writing
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