Shut the door and light the match
reminders me of a thumb nail scratch
The building goes up in flames
Shes innocent, well thats what she claims
The flames are getting bigger, Bright orange, red and blue
I bet if you could see it you would laugh too
"what are you fucking crazy?"
She looked at him and remembered her wallpaper, little yellow daises
She had the same room since she was born
But then something happened, she felt torn
Her Dad was always such an ass
It was like he was a teacher in some fucked up class
Her Mom is fucking lazy
She can't ever describe how that drove her Dad crazy
He always bitched about a dirty house
While his 16 year old daughter sits as quit as a mouse
She is about to get back at you
Punish you for all the shitty things you do
As you lay in your bed sleeping
She comes around the corner peeping
Gasoline in her hand
It's going to be better then she planned
She pours it all over her house
And once again just like a little mouse
She quickly creeped outside
She looked at her house and smiled wide
The end to all her pain is near
And she wont shed another fucking tear
Her life was over to begin with
Since the day she was born on march fifth
Her guilt is un attached
And then she threw the match
The house goes up, it's flaming
No turning back now, there is no taming
Author notes
option 3
Written February 17th, 2004
A contest entry
- Revenge of the Abused by empire of dirt.
300 points, ended September 13, 2004, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emotions Crying Out {Options} by newnoakua.
550 points, ended June 16, 2008, 92 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre Writes Contest By Reptile Lady by Reptile Lady.
1750 points, ended July 13, 136 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Amaze me. by Antebellum.
400 points, ended August 2, 104 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - living death by xochocoholicxo.
1100 points, ended October 11, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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fire i like it thankx sor entering
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Sorry got to close this contest
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amazing description.
Such a powerful write.
thank you so much for taking the time to enter my contest,
best of luck. -
This is wild !
It sends a strong taste of sweet revenge
Love the imagery of the room and the sad thoughts that came from this write of yours
Thank you and best wishes
Julie -
this was gorgeous.
I love the rhyme scheme it held me the second I started reading...great job and keep writing -
Wow, so powerful. I loved the rhyme and the story was amazing! Dark and creepy, just the way I like 'em. hehe
The last two lines had to be my favorite, but could you please put the option # in your notes. It was a rule.
best of luck in the contest! -
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I suck! option is there now
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I love the scene you set here and the background you gave it. I don't like some of the rhyming, but the story makes up for it. Also, in the second line, I am thinking "reminders" should say "reminds"? Anyways, I think if you made this a non-rhyming poem it would be perfect. Great job and good luck in the contest! ~Nyssa
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this poem is so good and so descriptive you are a great poet
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Oooh.. very dark... creepy. This has a nice flow to it and some nice end rhymes.
I really liked these two lines:
Her guilt is un attached
And then she threw the match
Nice! Keep up the good work! -
wow that was good is this a true poem tho im just wondering it wouldnt really matter how scary i always wonder what it would be like if i went to bed and never woked up
amy -
god damn, i loved that...what i wouldn't do to be able to fly out to california, and torch my dad's nice expensive house...he was such an asshole to me, and i haven't talked to him in forever...but i like it better that way...i like not talking to him, not having to deal with all the shit that he dishes out to me...but anyways, this was brilliant...i loved every word that you put into this piece.
christina -
hmm...im a blunt person..and honestly this isnt very good..rhyming is a bit forced at times..loses its flow in places..but i dont really look at that in writing...cuz this is real..i can feel your hate, pain possibly..and i like that..thats what writings about...bein real...excellent..
-sam -
wow , really dark and also very sinister but your use of the mouse to represent the small girl is brilliant and also viciously iornice, really well written poem
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Wow, I just can't wait to read your work!
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Thanks
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Scary
That poem was very dark.. It was scary... It was descriptive, I could see her setting the house on fire.. which again leads me to say that was scary. good write. ~*CryingBlood*~ -
Thanks, I really like to write about shit like that...And your very welcome!
Leanna
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i loved it
I love this poem.. Shows that a person can only be pushed so far.. Ha. Fucking awesome
~Keep up the great work~
`pSychotiK`
(oh, and thanks ALOT for the comment on my poem "The only thing I feel") -
Wow.. you tell that so well... deep write, lots of emotion, I'm tingling, though I don't advise you try this... you might have some trouble explaining to the cops
Great write xxx -
Dark and full of something I just can't describe. You have amazing story telling ability and to express that through a poem is wonderful. Great work, keep on writing.
~Bethany~ -
I like this one to If this is how you feel i hope you feel better i dont think violence is the awswer even thogh ive been close to hear
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good job...
Wow! This poem was awesome. Very dark and descriptive. Lord knows how many times I've wanted to kill my family for theway they treat me. Keep up the great work! Don't let your family bring you down with them. Everytime they treat you badly just stare into their eyes. Don't let them see you hurting. Don't give them that pleasre. Stay strong. You are worth so much more. Keep that chin up!
Things will get better.
Much Respect,
cRiMsOnRaZoR -
very dark. i like it..very nice write
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