Dear Heavenly Father . . .

Dear Heavenly Father . . .
©copyright 2006 Bonita M Quesinberry, R.C.

I am so tired of being exceptionally inspired—
to do utterly nothing, not even move.
I awake to the inspiration of not getting up,
yet I rise; though not in a productive groove.

I turn on my computer with fingers on the keyboard
thinking I want to write but inspired to not;
and, I wonder, as I check email and other missives,
if lethargy and constant pain are my lot.

Thou knowest I've lived with pain for almost fifty-six years,
bearing it with a smile that others see Thee;
see the strength Thou givest to defeat all adversity:
knowing that near to Thee this as well draws me.

Thou knowest I pray unceasing, Lord, taking dominion
to purge demons in Christ's name for latitude; 
yet, there is so little relief, hardly any changes:
pain back in a flash with the same lassitude.

O, Father, how much more physical pain must I endure
before I am worthy of being set free;
how much more exhaustion that it causes must I push through?
Should I endure pain even 'til I see Thee?

As Thine servant, I take myriad arrows flung at me,
and accept them willingly for Thy name's sake;
persecution from others as well as thorns in my side:
yet, all I ask is that pain from me Ye take.

Still, if it is Thy will that I should suffer all this pain,
then of Thee I ask for Thine understanding;
that I comprehend why I must continue to endure,
to know the purpose flesh pain is demanding.

Nonetheless, Father, in all things Thy mercy is present;
in all things Thine is the power and glory;
and, if I failed Thee in any way, please show me today:
that I should never cease to tell Thy story.

In Jesus precious name, Amen and amen.