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Swing Set

You know, we're all grown up,
we're in high school now,
no longer just kids.
We act all cool,
curse to our hearts content,
make "That's what she said" jokes.

But who are we really?

She was walking down the street,
pondering her latest boy problems
and friends' drama,
she passed the playground
of her elementary school.
Memories flooded back,
of happy times, happily ignorant.
Could she stand to go back to that?

Who was she, really?

It called to her, appealed to her heart
and she found herself unable to just pass by
without a word, and so she stepped
onto the familiar wood chips
that she had felt so much before.
You can't go home again, right?
But you can come for a visit sometimes.

What is home, really?

She walked across the deserted play place
from the slippery slides to the jacob's ladder
and suddenly she saw the swing sets.
The girl she was back then loved them,
she swung with eyes closed, shoes off,
and head up in the sky.

Who is that girl, really?

She took a deep breath
and kicked off her shoes,
sat on the swing that was so familiar,
it seemed to welcome her home.
She swung, slowly at first, tenatively,
then faster, higher, up into the air.
She closed her eyes and reached to the sky.
Suddenly she was that little girl again.
You can go home sometimes.

What do we know, really?

Author notes

pic 2

Pinksnowboots

option 1-teen years

Option 5-mentality

A contest entry

How can I change this to make it better?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • broken-colours
    March 4

    Edit | Reply
    this was really sweet and nostalgic. I love the feeling I get when reading it; it's as if I'm swinging myself and blowing my cares away in the wind. very nice.

    <3


  • Wandering Poet
    February 28

    Edit | Reply
    I like the ending of this poem. I think it paints the picture that maybe we never grow up fully. we just start acting like we are grown up but deep down we all want to go back to that playground. great poem.


  • Heroesrox
    February 26
    Edit | Reply
    I need you to please follow the rules and put something in your AN.


  • your angers a gift
    February 23
    Edit | Reply
    aww! A very heartwarming poem! Great write. Thanks for entering. Good luck!


  • Lady Michaella
    February 20

    Edit | Reply
    wow..... this is AMAZING!! such a beautiful concept.. and very well written.. a fantastic write indeed!

    Thanks for entering my contest,
    and best of luck!

    Your judge,
    -Lemon Bee-


  • jayyniecakes.
    February 16

    Edit | Reply
    mmmm....... i know that feeling.

    except it wasnt the swings, it was the junglegym @ mcdonalds.


  • morgana raven Greeters member
    February 9

    Edit | Reply
    Before I read any more I have! to stop and laugh so much because the very first bit of the poem really really holds to my own memories I'm only 18 now and in my first years of college, the last two, all we did, especially my best friend was make 'thats what she said' jokes and to be honest, he still does it now! So this bit I really! loved.
    I think this poem was so really well writtten, with all the questions making me think and the imagery of the playground. I love the portrayal of these kind of memories. I wish I could go back home, back to when I was younger, people only wish stuff like that when their current situation seems hard though. It's always nice to keep the memories, you did a wonderful job with this piece, thought envoking and I really think you pulled it off well.
    I'm glad you entered so I had the chance to read,
    Laura.


  • Snowing Kisses gold member
    February 1

    Edit | Reply
    this is a realy nicely written and creative poem tht really paints an intriguing picture
    thanks for entering

  • Liveloveperforming
    January 24

    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed this piece very much and loved the use of rhetorical questions. They really portraye the uncertainty and confusion of entering adulthood. Nicely done.

    In terms of improvement, I was would suggest deleting the word 'as' in the second standza, this should make the verse flow a little bit smoother and maybe the 'had' in the line "The girl she was back then had loved them". Remember, this is just my opinion so you don't have to change anything if you don't want to. Keep up the good work.


  • Kathraina silver member
    January 23

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this piece took my breath away. I love how you've used this prompt. Very magical. Fits well into my life atm too. Senior year in highschool and coming to many realizations about life.
    Wonderful piece. Thank you so much for entering and best of luck! I love this!

    ♥ Kathraina

1 - 11 of 11