A wave of heat envelopes me
with humid misting air,
where dragonflies drift quietly
in grace without compare.
The midday sun that never fades;
I find her napping in the shade,
the midday sun
the midday sun
I drink the scene like lemonade.
Returning from wars overseas
back to my lady fair,
but she pretends she doesn't see
that I am standing there
And now I find myself afraid,
those years ago, I wish I'd stayed,
and now I find
and now I find
My lady feels herself betrayed.
I fall to her on bended knee
and catch her wilting stare,
with words I work to set her free
of doubts she's had to bear.
My love drowns her in a cascade,
and though these words may be delayed,
my love drowns her
my love drowns her
her eyes meet mine, and love's repaid.
Author notes
Prompt: Resurrection
My take: resurrection of love and trust
Trijan Refrain: created by Jan Turner, consists of three 9-line stanzas, for a total of 27 lines. Line 1 is the same in all three stanzas, although a variation of the form is not to have a repetition of the same line, only the four syllable refrain In other words, the beginning line of each stanza can be different. The first four syllables of line 5 in each stanza are repeated as the double-refrain for lines 7 and 8.
The Trijan Refrain is a rhyming poem with a set meter and rhyme scheme as follows:
Rhyme scheme: a/b/a/b/c/c/d,d refrain of first 4 words of line five /c
Meter: 8/6/8/6/8/8/4,4 refrain/8
This kind of turned out as a somewhat sequel to a song my mom Welshbard wrote, also called Homecoming. Mine is, of course, from the soldier's point of view. Hers is written as a period bardic piece, but I left mine intentionally ambiguous when it comes to time period, so it could be more readily identifiable for soldiers today.
In a list
A contest entry
- RESURRECTION....Remind Rew Her Themes are Appreciated by Blue Rew.
1977 points, ended February 2, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Did it work for you?
Comments
-
Happy Birthday!
I came to see your poetry from your home page and
was glad to find this charming form poem. I liked the subject the you chose and was impressed with the imagery used. There are a minor few bumps in the meter but all in all it turned out well. I applaud you for your effort and for coming up with an enjoyable rendidtion of a Trijan refrain. j
y
-
Just so soft and tender...
I could envision the whole of it and that
counts for much. I adore this form, so happy
to introduce it to more. You do it great justice.
Blue
PS-oversees should be overseas -
''A wave of heat envelopes me
with humid misting air,
where dragonflies drift quietly
in grace without compare.
The midday sun that never fades;
I find her napping in the shade,
the midday sun
the midday sun
I drink the scene like lemonade.
Returning from wars oversees
back to my lady fair,
but she pretends she doesn't see
that I am standing there
And now I find myself afraid,
those years ago, I wish I'd stayed,
and now I find
and now I find
My lady feels herself betrayed.
I fall to her on bended knee
and catch her wilting stare,
with words I work to set her free
of doubts she's had to bear.
My love drowns her in a cascade,
and though these words may be delayed,
my love drowns her
my love drowns her
her eyes meet mine, and love's repaid.''
Wow, you're a genius...
It worked all right!!!
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