Swinging tires
under summer blue
and aged oaks
mother's lullaby
golden locks
unravel in afternoon breeze
like freed kites
shrieks of laughter
and footsteps
trampling buttercups,
echoes of yesterday
crickets chirping
fireflies flying
dandelions dancing
rain running
streaks of muddy stain
mother's exasperation
unseen in
scrapbook of memory.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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beautiful write.
thanks for taking the time to enter,
good luck. -
"shrieks of laughter
and footsteps
trampling buttercups,
echoes of yesterday"
I really adore that entire stanza. It's...image-tastic. =D -
I loved your authors notes as well as your poem.
I love jellybeans too.
Thank you for entering.
Sophie
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I like this. Your images are well done and your descriptions add nicely upon one another - you build up a vivid scene of what summer means. I particularly like that 'freed kites' image. The ending makes me smile!
Perhaps 'fireflies dancing / dandelions flying' would work better as 'fireflies flying / dandelions dancing'.
"Rain falling" is a bit ordinary compared to the rest of your piece. Perhaps something more colourful could be put there.
Thanks for entering! -
This is really pretty and I love the memories you've put into this. Thank you for entering and good luck.
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A touching write. Good metaphor and image. Very nicely done. Thank you for entering the contest.
Sam
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