i
I understand
that this is
no turning point,
just static movement
ii
I want to see you
swimming through
waters,
because I don't
know what to do
with you
iii
take your map.
Author notes
28th december 2008.
i have know idea what/who this is about. it just came to me.
a part of me is in it.
Comments
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I love the opening stanza. I think it was an incredibly powerful opening. Plus I really dig the word "static" and it's been rolling in my mind lately, I think I have pretty sick obsession with it at the moment. Anywho. I love the placement of it in your piece, there was such an edge to it and there was this sense of mindlessness to it [if that makes any sense]
There seemed to be something both cruel and desperate about the second stanza. I guess it could be read either way, depending on the person. It was both uncaring and helpless, a need that can't be satisfied.
The ending is fantastic is just the one line, it's very sharp and says so much like "if you come with me you'll get lost."
♥
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it's fantastic to see you back!!!
I have to dash so I'll come back and leave a proper comment but I just want to at least leave something!
xxx -
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i adore you so much
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ditto! <3333
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