And that's all I have to give

1:30 am

Eric,
I'm laying in bed beside you right now, writing to you. I could wake you up from your sleep, but i like the peaceful look on your face. You're always so focused on getting me to relax, I think it was your turn while i watched you sleep for a change. I have so much to tell you tonight, but i think i'll start at the beginning.

I can hear the clocks ticking around the dark, sleeping house. It reminds me that our time together is coming to a close. The cancer finally caught up with me as we knew one day it would. Over the years we've grown together and loved one another with every breath we took and it tells me that now, you'll watch me take my last. Nothing could prepare us for this day and nothing will make it any easier for either of us, but i want you to know that you loving me has only made me stronger. You've put a life into my step and into my eyes, a glow everyone, including me can see. After all this time, my heart still flips over in my chest when I see you. Your hands and eyes are still the most relaxing thing to me.

You take my breath away. I don't know if i told you that often enough. I don't know if i told you i loved you enough. Though I broke my biggest promise to you...you'll never go a day without me telling you I love you. But next week, I will no longer lay in bed beside you. You will no longer see me at the beginning and close of every day. I will cease to exist and it is yours as well as our lovely children to keep my memory alive. And even when I'm gone, I will still love you with every beat of my heart.

After you read this, I want you to promise me something. When our darling children are old enough to understand I want you to tell them about us. Every detail. I want them to know how their mom and dad fell in love almost instantly. I want them to believe in love as you taught me how real and pure it could be.

Eric, darling, I thank you for the life I've been privelaged and extremely lucky to have lived. I couldn't ask for a better husband, lover, or friend in all the years I've lived. You were the reason for all the love songs i would wander around the house singing, you are the reason to my success because without you i would have lost all faith in love and in inspiration. From the beginning you were exactly what I wanted and I could not ask for more because you were all that I ever needed. Your passion, your faith in me and us, and your love is the reasons I've lived as long as I have. My days are numbered and I can't think of any better way then to spend them with you.

You are the love of my life, the keeper of my heart and i'll be there at heaven's gates to show you in when it is your time to join me. Another adventure for us. I have one last thing baby, before I end this. If you ever need me and you can't find me at all the places we marked special, go to the waters edge. Somewhere along the coast line and i'll be there. Because even if we're apart for now, know that I am always with you.

Attached to this is the way I always want you to remember me. Young and without a care in the world. I lived for you and my love will still live on in you.

I will always be yours, and my darling, you will always be mine.



Yours♥