Brightest ring ‘round the moon,
love song sung in clearest tune.
My mouth sings of Your love;
I have been born above.
Bright is the light for my spirit.
Brilliant is truth, so I must heed it.
I am the moon, You are the sun;
I reflect in Your joy undone.
Hear my words in passion’s rhythm.
He’s in me and I am in Him.
One of many, chosen abroad.
Gifted by Him, a child of God.
My light of love is from Your shining,
only continued in my abiding.
You’re the joy Your presence brings,
my own song that I must sing.
May my life be of Your pleasure,
meted out in Christ-like measure.
Just let me have this one good thing:
my joy met as Your brightest ring.
Author notes
Prompt: 2~Hope
A contest entry
- Pick-a-Prompt by Samplette.
1100 points, ended February 5, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Beautiful!
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Good writing, no emotion.
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loved this part:
Brightest ring ‘round the moon,
love song sung in clearest tune.
My mouth sings of Your love;
I have been born above.
this flowed so well, almost song-like. the rthym was fab! A very good write indeed.
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How this drips with hope...in Him there is always hope. What a true blessing this was to read. Not to forget to mention gracefully penned. Thank you for sharing such beauty in this contest.
Sam
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It seems im not the only one who loved the last stanza.. I really enjoyed reading this write. I had a little bit of a slow start getting into it. But It is a wonderful write non the less.
""My light of love is from Your shining,
only continued in my abiding.
You’re the joy Your presence brings,
my own song that I must sing.
May my life be of Your pleasure,
meted out in Christ-like measure.
Just let me have this one good thing:
my joy met as Your brightest ring.""
This is soo wonderful. This so beautifully penned and You have a talent with those rhyms mine usualy end up like the cat sat in the hat lol good job and keep up the great penning!!
~*Cristy*~
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Great write! I love it. Beautifully penned. I like your rhymn scheme too. I love the entire piece, but I would have to say that stanza 3 is my favorite part.
"My light of love is from Your shining,
only continued in my abiding.
You’re the joy Your presence brings,
my own song that I must sing.
May my life be of Your pleasure,
meted out in Christ-like measure.
Just let me have this one good thing:
my joy met as Your brightest ring."
Keep writing.
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beautifully written. i can see how much the love reeks from your poem for above. great job on rhymes. thanks for sharing.
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Well done. There are a couple of places where you went off the track a bit I think. Such as the lst line of the first stanza. What does it say? Are you saying God's joy has been undone? It's unclear to me. Good work though!
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Stunning!
I was captured unaware by this poem. The title didn't give anything away and after reading I was amazed.
I love the sentiments expressed within your words and admire the almost seemless rhyming.
I always find it hard to write in long lined rhyming couplets so am in awe of your word play here.
Great job x -
This is exquisitely written. Best wishes in the contest.
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This is beautiful, and so well-written; thank you so much for sharing this piece - all I can say is how good it is. Best of luck in your contest!
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really really beautiful Good Luck with it in the contest you oughtta win well we can only hope
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this had me smiling by the end. i really like this. great rhythm and rhyme. excellent imagery. thank you for sharing your amazing talents. keep writing dear brother! God bless you always
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