You were staring at me with those liquid honey eyes a crumbled valentine in your hands, I could feel the anger and pain surging through your body you were mad at me and at that moment I didn't understand why your eyes were dripping h2o, but it tore at the pieces of my heart.
'you want me to say I'm not in love with you'
I noticed how you choked on the words, I hated to hurt you.
'yes ...please' I whispered twirling my fingers through the loose threads of my shirt
'I'm not in love with you"
'so this is' I start to say, but you cut me off before i can finish
'I'm completely head over heels in love with you'
Author notes
this is really bad but im saving it just in case
Sometimes i think im not allowed to fall in love it just hurts to much and i cant feel that again so i push people away and usually end up getting hurt in the process.
In a list
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A contest entry
- Wearing my ♥ on your sleeve by WithinYourEyes.
400 points, ended February 19, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Our Beating Hearts Collide
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Love can take us to heaven or hell, cause nothing hurts more than love that can't be. But I don't think that failures should stop you, hope is what matters the most.
Lovely piece of writing!
Nela
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Bad? No, this is awesome! It's not like one of those cliche moments, there's more too it. It's deeper and more, how should I say....well, confrontational, for lack of a better word. Awesome!
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liquid honey eyes-- very lovely imagery there
H2O very clever for the tears
and Just as I expect the end to be a bad end to a relationship you surprise me!! wow
Wicked write hun x
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Nice write
The scene is emotionally charged and I'm sure that nearly everyone can relate. Perhaps a little restructuring of the first stanza? Good over all though.
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wow, the scene that you painted here is so vivid and the emotions come out so powerfully.
I know what you mean about feeling like love hurts too much. I have a tendency to push people away as well.
Amazing write.
x
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that's great! I think that the first line is a little bit overwhelming, but it sort of adds something to the rushed feeling of the poem, and how quickly she must have thought those things. It's so cute! Thanks for entering, and good luck in the contest!
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Love this
This is fucking powerful, I'm adding you to my favorites!
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This is interesting to say the least, and probably one of the favorites I have commented on so far today, I think the last line could be more powerful though in saying that. but I enjoyed how you structured it
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wow; this is so heartbreakingly powerful. the scene this creates is unbelievable. everything about this poem drenched me in hurt for this poor guy, but in pity for the girl that has to be the bitch.
honestly this is so amazing. i just don't know what to say i'm so speechless. wow.
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