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Water Stained Memories

drip.
drop.
drip.
drop.

the falling of waterdrops onto a window that will never be opened
a heart that will never fall in love
the tears you cried when I left you last winter and didn't even say goodbye

and you wonder why you can't stop crying
and I wonder if we could have been more.

the ocean kept flowing
carrying me farther and farther away from you
until it was as if I never

met you,
loved you,
or
missed you.
























I miss you.






Author notes

prompt: water

entry 3/5

janeloveshellokitty

clip

b.) You're In Love with someone who will never be yours.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • In.Your.Arms
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    its really sophisticated and kinda hard to understand...but its really good. if you understand it, than the message is really good. nice literary techniques by the wa


  • toomysterious
    April 25
    Edit | Reply
    Very emotional. Good use of water to convey absence.


  • broken-colours
    March 10

    Edit | Reply
    aw.
    this is very simple yet so powerful.
    there is much emotion tucked behind your words.
    I especially like the twist at the end.
    <3


  • DinkyDiver gold member
    February 12

    Edit | Reply
    such longing and lingering words! great emotion is provoked here. the simplicity of this makes it wonderful to read and passionate! I am totally liking the beginning of this with the drip drop. makes me hear it, see it, smell the rain- great job goodluck x


  • Stormy Days
    February 1

    Edit | Reply
    this is wonderful emotion piece of longing and lose wonderful write a simple poem that catches so much


  • Mistress Leala silver member
    February 1

    Edit | Reply
    Words that speak volumes. How the emotions portray the loss and longing that one has left behind. Beautifully done.


  • you lack luster
    January 27

    Edit | Reply
    well, this was great. it was simple yet you captured simple emotions, missing someone, longing, rather well. i enjoyed :]


  • girl shaman
    January 26

    Edit | Reply
    well first off it is very simple which isn't bad but the simplicity didn't really capture the moment i was looking for. although i do honestly think you had something personal here and it shows towards the ending. i think you did pretty good and it wasn't hard to read at all thank you for entering!


  • AbidoodleCullen
    January 25
    Edit | Reply
    This was good!
    Thanks for entering and good luck!
    <3 Abi


  • StarEyes
    January 24

    Edit | Reply
    WOW!!! I love this one! This brings alot of emotions to the surface for me. What a great read this one is! So much in this one for such a short read! This is amazing! What a great job!

    Best of luck in this contest!

  • x26ss
    January 22
    Edit | Reply
    Ouch. From a man's perspective reading this hurts, bad. But I am a lost lover, I am a man who has been replaced many times over. That being said, this has an eerie beauty and is very well written. Upon reading it more than once I realize there is remorse on top of all your frankness. I like the ambiguity, you SHOULD be proud of this one.
    keep writing!!


    • jayyniecakes.
      January 24
      Edit | Reply
      thank you :]]

      i just changed the ending...... what do you think?

      • x26ss
        January 24

        Edit | Reply
        I have to admit, that I liked the original (ending) a little better. I think the subtleness of your emotion was better felt that way. But that's my opinion. Either way it's still a great piece!!
        Johnny

1 - 13 of 13