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geraniums.

it was the killer and the girl against the wall.

they had one chance to stare at each other never knowing when the train would come and both were holding their jackets against their chest like a security never found within themselves.
one lamp post was broken and it hummed with a sound of age and its restless flicker was the only show of life among the vacant area. she looked at all the dead grass and before her eye landed on something still, the killer caught her sleeve and smiled.

Author notes

eh.
i think maybe i could have done better but it is only six sentences! so give me a break lol

hm.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • petrichor
    January 23

    Edit | Reply
    'one lamp post was broken and it hummed with a sound of age and its restless flicker was the only show of life among the vacant area. '

    hell yess. this was amazing. your writing is still beautiful beautiful beautiful!

    i would love to see more of this!

    <3


  • genderideals--
    January 23

    Edit | Reply
    wow. for six sentences that's amazing.
    "she looked at all the dead grass and before her eye landed on something still, the killer caught her sleeve and smiled. "

    what an ending! it's chilling, yet so perfect.


  • chloris
    January 23

    Edit | Reply
    i love your proses... cause you're good at it.
    maybe this was their story... waiting... i liked it.


  • bird-mad girl
    January 22

    Edit | Reply
    I would love to this as a short film. I can only begin to imagine the Magnificence [yeah I had to start that with a capitol letter to make my point stronger.]

    I think the story is pretty interesting and I love the mystery it allows us to wonder why he's doing this and why he decided to target her.

    xxx


  • parachute fog
    January 22
    Edit | Reply
    i removed the contest.

    let's call it you won.

1 - 5 of 5