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Clash

How can I trust my heart to you?
I must eschew
another dream
torn at the seam.

The past, ghost like, floats in the air,
warning “Beware!”
It can’t be real
the way I feel.

The ancient battle, I now find,
between the mind
and needful heart
tears me apart.


Author notes

Help! I'm being forced to say "I don't like chickens"
Open Prompt:
Picture Credit: www.deviantart.com
Form: Minute Poetry is a poem of three 4-line stanzas with a rhyme pattern of aabb. The syllable counts for each line are: 8, 4, 4, 4 – and that is repeated for each stanza. The meter here is iambic, meaning that the poem has a pattern of unstressed and stressed syllables.

eschew – to abstain or keep away from; shun; avoid.

A contest entry

Critical Comments Always Welcome

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Meroza
    February 9, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    The flow is good, makes it catchy. The theme of love and trusting really are shinning in this one. Also, a funny image
    Also, your so brave to dare those shape poem styles

    Congrats on the shiny


  • Kathleen a Nazarene
    January 26, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    Thinking about Valentine's Day?

    This is great Ken! Worthy of that award. This is brilliantly written & in a form I never heard of before. I love the fact that you felt the need to give the meaning of eschew...well...it is a word you don't see that often anymore...& I'm sure your teaching our younger poets! Minute Poetry..I'm going to have to record this!


  • Loftusmom40
    January 25, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    great poem...


  • MagicLady silver member
    January 23, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Does this mean you are in love?


  • toomysterious
    January 22, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful picture and poem. I love the way you have said what you said.

  • AngelKat42
    January 22, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    there always seems to be a battle going on between the heart & the mind.. something that is continuous..I think that you're addicted to form poetry .. I do like this one, though its a bit sad, but there is raw truth also. so for me I listen to my heart, but that's me.. everyone is different.
    I get lost among the syllable count.. I do like this form though

    good luck
    kat


  • Riftkin gold member
    January 22, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful for a minute poem.
    you did a great job and the feel was great.

    Joann


  • eternitydemon
    January 22, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    please read my rules....


    • KayJay
      January 22, 2009

      Edit | Reply
      But I do like chickens Oh, OK if you insist but I won't mean it

      • eternitydemon
        January 22, 2009
        Edit | Reply
        lol. i like chickens to. it is just something so i know they read everything.

1 - 10 of 10