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To Eat an Orange


 
 
 

That dimpled skin my fingertips

    with hesitation feel

And, tracing a profane ellipse,

    thus slides the blade of steel

In brief rapine, it scores, it strips.

    I kiss the lifting wheal –

A Sevillanas on my lips,

    the juice beneath the peel.

 

A bold Phoenician’s gift-of-heart,

    of sun’s horizon-rest;

A-sail from Jaffa, fresh and tart

    this golden palimpsest

With cuneiform’s impressing dart

    is dimpled, dappled, blessed

Of arcane meaning, lore, and art –

    alive of love and zest!

 

The ball of day-fire set, became

    a bloody tang of rust;

Give up your life in pleasure’s game,

    shed golden curls in trust

Yet dare to share the harlot’s blame,

    by avid wanton bussed –

As sweet as psalms, as sharp as shame –

    so, naked, die you must!

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Comments

1 - 34 of 34

  • Mary O gold member
    1 day ago
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    Edit | Reply
    You paint with words well, a vivid picture here. I could almost feel and taste the fruit as I read. Moreover, your piece is quite emotive. I dare say I got a glimps into a reality I myself have not shared; that is to say the rape of a sweet and innocent orange, hee,hee! Great work. Well done,
    ~Mary O


  • Peripatetic gold member
    June 10

    Edit | Reply
    Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men (or women)? A daily serving of fruit becomes a victim of salacious appetites!
    This eating of the orange seems a cruel rape made more horrific by the seductive sensuality of the language describing the stripping and ravaging of the innocent fruit.
    This brings to mind Bram Stoker's recounting of the Carpathian Count's seductions and violations of Lucy and Mina.

    I love the ballad meter and rhyme!

  • Your attention to detailed imagery, superb as ever. Use of expanded vocabulary intriguing but not pretentious, has a fine bouquet with a nice subtle aftertaste.


  • Bean Sidhe silver member
    January 31

    Edit | Reply
    This is a striking piece of poetry - well deserving of gold, although I have not read many more entries in the contest yet. Your use of rhyme (something that eludes me regularly) leaves me quietly stunned. It seems so natural for you, not forced at all! Also I am truly inspired by your use of language. It's not enough to utilize intelligent wording, a poet must know what the words mean and how they fit into the line and poem as a whole. You seem to be quite skilled at that because although some of the words are not considered "every day", they flowed well, and even enhanced the poem's consistency and beauty. Finally, while I am familiar with your work, this poem struck me as something that could have been written easily in the sixteenth century. I'm not sure if it's the style or what exactly that relates to but it certainly gave that impression. By far and away, my favorite lines were:

    “And, tracing a profane ellipse,
    thus slides the blade of steel”

    I'm not sure why. Only that those two lines specifically spoke to me. In any case, congratulations on winning the contest and having such a beautiful piece of work to show for it!

    Now, please excuse me, for I need to go have an orange!

    Beannachtaí


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      January 31
      Edit | Reply
      I like to play with language, old and new. If that means using archaic forms, unusual words, free verse, or anything - I'll do it. I like to take words and employ them unusually but still correctly, if that makes sense.

      The two lines you pick out - I want readers to pick out the word "thus", as though they are being shown the actual knife sliding and slicing in a particular way.

      Thank you for your kind comments.

  • silverfish
    January 28
    Edit | Reply

    orange you delightful

    well. yielding to temptation never sounded so nutritious. -600nmFish


  • Amera gold member
    January 26

    Edit | Reply
    I like it! I really, really like it. I love your rhyming poetry. I see why you didn't try to rhyme the word "orange", the only thing it rhymes with is "door hinge". Three bunnies for this masterpiece!

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • Tirrell
    January 26

    Edit | Reply
    Love where you took the taste of an orange here my friend, as it was much more in depth, and so much more in imagery, all I can say inside this awe, is beautiful!

  • Vera Rich
    January 26

    Edit | Reply
    This is well-wrought and right on target as regards subject, It has for me a kind of 18th century air - the combination of "high-style" language to express a daily-;ofe experience, perhaps. Congratulations on a job wel done.


  • Cup-a-Joe
    January 26
    Edit | Reply
    I love oranges.
    This seems to taake me into another zone however.
    Good job.
    Joe

  • The subject is not my cup of tea, but your poetic skill is most impressive.

  • Melissaup23
    January 25
    Edit | Reply

    very good

    is wheel spelled wrong?


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      January 25
      Edit | Reply
      No; a "wheal" is a raised scar or mark on skin, made by a knife, a whip, or some other instrument.


  • just mercedes gold member
    January 25

    Edit | Reply
    So juicy, a wonderful write. kudos for 'cuneiform' and 'palimpsest' - your play with words is inspiring to me.


  • DogFish silver member
    January 23
    Edit | Reply
    ...how can...I comment on that?


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      January 24
      Edit | Reply
      Och go on, force yourself. You know you want to!

      • DogFish silver member
        January 24
        Edit | Reply
        I do but it is so lovely I can't find fitting words...like, this poem about an orange has more layers than an onion!

  • Bad Bill
    January 23
    Edit | Reply
    Impressive use of words and VERY well rhymed.

    Good work,
    Bill


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      January 24
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks, Bill. I have wanted to work the word "palimpsest" into a poem for a long time!

  • ea silver member
    January 23
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful - a winner!


  • notorious
    January 23
    Edit | Reply
    I need more vitamin C in my life.


  • BlancetNoir gold member
    January 22
    Edit | Reply
    now I'm all hungry.


  • Draig aine gold member
    January 22
    Edit | Reply

    weird and wonderful

    I do not think I will ever think of an orange in the same way


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      January 23
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. It's the poet's job to make people not think about things in the same way.

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