I am in my chair.
I judge you, madam, cloyingly clinical.
Size you up in one glance -
one is all I have to give
half glass, half glassier. Ever sharp!
My half sight is more than good enough for you.
I see you misinterpret this glare
so set back from my voice:
withered in chronological pattern to my face.
I see you!
Der weisse Engel...! -- Open FIRE.
... should accompany a physical leap
instead left
Twitching in response to your
inconsiderate, intrusive bangs
crashes, the grunting snores
sick slug-like dribble
the loudest sound
Not mine, never mine!
Me, a Nancy boy? Fancy pants in a medal?
No trinkets, damn you, no water.
Have some discipline.
I see your reaction, tender and sickening.
Away; you are not my daughter.
caring for me, without caring
about me.
To hell with good.
to taking care of the weak - it doesn't work
that way.
It is me that cannot stand your touch:
Unknown to me when I was someone.
Do not bother to remove the soil
I create in my chair.
Living to make decisions,
one never really stops.
Power never lost - just the purpose for it.
I cannot be nourished:
let me decay.
What
does anyone care?
No telling when I must
Sleep. I shall as and when.
A lay in, I think.
It will take no effort
I fell so many times,
you bet your life I can fall on demand.
I wouldn't waste our time.
a carcass cannot be roused
by one wheeling it to a cleaner place
It cannot see the bright white.
Think
If I want for nothing
You gain some worth?
Fut.
I'll teach you something real.
Turn this white into the mud
and yourself into a tool.
Have a use.
So long... So long.
Get the feel for something
As we all did!
I want nothing.
That much is deserved
for what I did
for you.
and you, and you.
Pfft. Youth.
A contest entry
- Eleanor Rigby by coloringmysenses.
700 points, ended January 23, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING GOES by VerminVomit.
1300 points, ended March 9, 146 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Again, this is fucking excellent.
The flow is great- goes along at a steady pace.
The form is good. Short, pithy sentences.
The language is very interesting- imaginative and at times abstract.
Just generally this is really great- if every one of your poems were like this, you'd be famous already!
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im glad you agree with me on this... although obviously i like it, else i wouldnt have resubmitted it lol
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First and foremost, thank you for entering this contest!
This write contains a very resigned emotion, but was met with an equally strong voice of not giving up, even if losing. The stream of consciousness pulls the reader through the acknowledgment of being misunderstood. I really liked the imagery and indirect descriptions that exist in this piece.
My favorite lines out of this poem are:
"I look at you with one glass eye, one glassier eye.
You could not understand my look
and I can't tell you what it means.
my voice has withered in chronological parallel to my face."
There's an error in the second line in your verb usage. I'm also confused in your use of capitalization in a couple of your lines.
Good luck in the contest! -
a carcass cannot be roused
by one wheeling it to a cleaner place
This bit is statrlingly excellent- what an awesome idea, very well expressed!
Very interesting ideas going on here- I think you are coming on very quickly in your content and expression.
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