From the person she loved the most in the world
The Letter that embodied a mysterious message
The mystery that was derisively jeering at her
Those words concealed in an ebony envelope
Challenged her to go closer and let herself know
Moving slowly towards the letter, her legs froze
She was benumbed, all that remained was a dead lifeless body
She could feel the pain that alleviated inside her
It left her inanimate like a dead leaf
There it lay, in the corner of the room
Glaring at her with a look that scoffed at her
She reached out and touched it
She could feel the pain hidden inside the envelope
Her fingers trembled with the corners of the envelope,
Her heart shuddered with dread
Fear enshrouded her soul
But alas, she had to release him from the years of exile
From the chained bondages of her love
She slowly tore it open
Immediatly regretting her mistake,
She saw the painful letters inked in blue blood
'Take your heart back.I don't need it anymore'
She mouthed the words over and over again
As tears smeared her lovely face
Making her go pale with the excruciating pain
She softly wept for hours
Until she was drowned in memory
The memories she had to live with forever
She loved him maybe that's why she had to let him go
Her heart was breaking into a million pieces
But all she wanted was his happiness
She had to write a reply
To this painful request
She wrote
'Keep it with you, sweetheart.It's of no use to me either.'
28th "September" 2007
© 2006-2009 Rinzu Susan Rajan
Author notes
IT WAS A PREWRITES CONTEST HELD SOMETIME IN FEBRUARY...SINCE I HAVE THE HABIT OF PULLING OUT MY ENTRIES OUT OF CONTESTS I HAVEN'T WON, I DON'T REMEMBER WHICH CONTEST IT WAS...
A contest entry
- Sad, Upset, Hurt, Betrayed? by starving4perfection.
1550 points, ended April 26, 157 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Another Chance by Ken-Maverick.
400 points, ended October 9, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - <3 Anything and Everything <3 by vampireblood.
575 points, ended November 20, 157 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Prewrites!!!! by Fallen-Thumper.
1200 points, ended November 13, 175 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites. by Antebellum.
400 points, ended November 14, 201 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quickie # 35 of 37! Prewrites but follow rules or will be removed. by Beautiful-N-Broken.
480 points, ended November 24, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
She slowly tore it open
Immediatly regretting her mistake,
She saw the painful letters inked in blue blood
'Take your heart back.I don't need it anymore'
Loved these lines. Thanks for the wonderful entry and good luck in the contest. -
I have actually had that said to me once, and my response was just that. That really made this piece stand out to me. Thank you for entering it. Excellent write and good luck in my contest.
-
nice
-
Amazing. Thanks for entering
~Lae -
a deeply emotional and sad write that touches the reader deeply, thank you for entering and good luck in the contest with this very imaginitive write
-
This is really beautiful and brings real pain with it. It's so so sad. Really amazing write. I actually have nothing bad at all to say about it. Wonderful descriptions and great imagery. The emotion that i felt whilst reading shocked me. There is undeniable pain here. Very well written, thank you for your entry. xo
-
This poem was beautifully painful. The way the poem builds up to its climax bids the reader to feel every word of emotion with overwhelming intensity. You have analyzed your emotions to such an extent that the reader has no choice but to feel the despair of rejection and the unrequited hope of true love. I truly loved this poem.
I will be praying for you. -
There it lay, in the corner of the room
Glaring at her with a look that scoffed at her
She reached out and touched it
She could feel the pain hidden inside the envelope
very mysterious and interesting. quite a well thought out poem with some easy flowing form to follow.
i really liked this. well done. thanks for entering -
Wow. This is so touching, so sad. I love the way you wrote it out though, it grabs the reader very very well.
Ever need to talk, message me. I will always listen.
~~KitKat -
Loved the ending...wonderful story telling. Blessings.


-
whos dude
i loved this
the end was the best part
i loved it
great job
thankyou for entering my contest
xXalyXx
his emo teddybear -
Awesome
Very well written. Fantastic conclusion.

-
Thankyou for entering LoveNeverDies,
This was a Lovely write
"But alas, she had to release him from the years of exile
From the chained bondages of her love"
*cries* I enjoyed reading this gloomy-felt piece, it bring so many emotions into ones heart.
Goodluck
(: -
Well then thats a bit of apoem isn't it. its well written. Thank you for entering my contest. This doesn't Tick me off so i guess your basing it closer to pleasing right? well i'll keep an eye on it.

-
I really enjoyed the line,
"She saw the painful letters inked in blue blood"
It is surprising as a poet how often ink resembles blood. Magical. -
aww wow! omg its a beautiful poem..i couldnt have ended it better..and you cant always move on straight away..it takes longer for diiferent people...if you ever wanna talk im here always

anyway the poem was amazing, great imagery! i loved it! thank you so much for entering such an amazing piece...the very best of luck to you!
-
-
THANKS
well...for some love is about moving ahead after the heartbreak...for me love is "him"...
and guess someday all will be fine...it's not that there is a dearth of men in this world...but he defines "love" so perfectly...
if u can do a favour for me,then kindly pray for my broken relationship...i think God will hear the many prayers that go up to him...
thanks and take care
thanks for the contest...

-
-
I love the ending, I can't think of a better ending than yours. You have adorned your poem with so much metaphors and imagery that it overwhelms me. There's a typographical error though, "The fear of loosing...". Anyway, your composition is full of emotion and it is highly influenced by several figures of speech. Well done and good luck.



















