LunaAmara is the night sky,
She's the sun hanging so high,
She's the birds singing their song,
Every word we all hang on.
LunaAmara is the sun in the sky,
When she burns out so do we,
She's our life now, can't you see,
LunaAmara is 20.
LunaAmara dances along,
Has a sweet voice,
Of which for you would long,
LunaAmara's 20th birthday.
Happy Birthday!!!
A contest entry
- It's My 20th Birthday! Get In Here! by LunaAmara.
950 points, ended February 1, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Is this poem good? Be honest PLEASE. I don't like suck ups. :)
Comments
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It's a nice idea, but some of the rhymes feel a bit forced--
and I'm a little uneasy about the "of which for you would long" line. It's didn't read smoothly--
otherwise, I really like that you actually wrote a poem for my birthday! Thanks for entering!
Good luck!
-
Absolutely beautiful! I'm sure LunaAmara will love this. Well imaged and spoken with true deepness and sincerity. Good luck in the contest.
Brian
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