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Wood-colored spider

wood-colored spider disappears
weaving web
across fence slats
it reappears with wind
climbing a broken beam of light

in the corner now
little spider is motionless
a house sized fly lands
just above him

spider waits
the fly moves closer
to the web
washes his face
moves closer
washes his face
moves just a little closer

and flies away

well, what do yuo think?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • BlancetNoir gold member
    February 12

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    This is such a lovely narrative that draws me right into a scene that is natural and tiny and often overlooked in the rush of everyday life, yet life hangs in the balance and nothing is certain. I used to love watching flies grooming themselves when I was little. I really love the voice in this poem a lot. There's a gentle innocence to it, and I don't know why but it reminds me of haiku, maybe because it is so in the moment.


  • Bev Hilderman gold member
    February 11

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    it reappears with wind
    climbing a broken beam of light

    I like this good imagery. I feel the suspense in this. Well done. Maybe add more suspense I don't wont it to end and I don't like spiders lol