i.
My words
sit on the edge of
chapped lips like
a baby bird about to
leave the nest
it's so terrifying.
I can't let
my future
be swayed so easily
in the bitter cold wind.
I don't trust chance
because
I can't control it.
ii.
Facades sit well
with me;
I suppose I've
always preferred
Halloween over Christmas:
pretending is so easy.
My spiderweb secrets stand
no chance against
garden clippers,
that's why I've
weaved them
inside a brick wall.
iii.
Running away
is hard with
legs of lead
and
lies lie like
ravenous lions
when pestered
by parasitical
demons-
perhaps there's
no easy way around
the world.
Author notes
http://allpoetry.com/Mad%20As%20Rabbits
A contest entry
- Written Souls by Fedrizzi.
1800 points, ended February 10, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - AP X Factor 2 - Auditions by sideways hourglass.
550 points, ended February 27, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments and critiques are encouraged.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Yes.
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Thanks!
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Yes
"Halloween over Christmas" - is the only part that I strongly disliked. Everything else was either decent or great. I like your use of alliteration. I honestly stumbled over "lies lie like ravenous lions" - it felt awkward on the tongue and didn't really emphasize anything, so it was ineffective...but that is just my opinion. Otherwise, this was pretty good. -
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Thank you so much!!
I'm pretty excited for this, not going to lie. I love your contests, I always discover a new side to myself and my poetry. -
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awesommme!
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