Is there enough space
between the big bang
and the chirp of a sparrow
for my sad existence?
Is God as tired as I
of shooting stars,
or the perfect wave
off Haleiwa?
Why don’t you buy me a drink,
tell me a funny story and rub my back?
Just a little higher, please.
No, more to the left.
There!
A contest entry
- Your Favorite Work? by RedAquarius.
550 points, ended January 27, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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The jaded tone of the first two stanzas is beautifully balanced by the human interaction of the last - I like this!


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Fun title, love the quirky first 2 stanzas and number three makes me think my cat is talking to me, hehe. Thanks!
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This is interesting, and I see why you like it (eve if you did write it). Thank you for sharing this piece; the stark and raw emotion was refreshing.
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I like the odd twist at the end, but I think it needs some form of rhythm...
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Heh! I used to know this great little back-rub joint in Waipahu with a cutie little Korean chick named "Song". Oh, to relive the '90's!
Great little "boredom in Paradise" piece!

1 - 5 of 5





