So long they brush your cheek when you sleep
even more beautiful when wet
though I never wish to see you weep
Enhancing the sparks in your eyes
when you think about reaching for the skies
A sensuous reminder of how sweet you are
and how you'll always be my little star
Giver of a thousand butterfly kisses
and countless soft breath wishes
maskers of emotion
key holders to the heart of an ocean
Protectors to the window of your soul
always on patrol
Adding to your beauty
I dont know any one that wouldn't agree
They are you're eyelashes
and I must say I love the way
the black against blue clashes
Author notes
A weird write. kind of about myself. in a weird way. not sure I like the last part. let me know what u think
5) A poem about eyelashes
A contest entry
- Odd........(CLICK ME) by Jaffa-.
510 points, ended February 6, 29 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Honest Constructive Critisim Pls
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I put a rather short comment before but i just realised, reading through my finalists list, that i should really expand on what i had said.
The first stanza was just breathtaking, very emotional and full of love.
The second stanza just intensifies the love flowing from the write and just completely lifts you up.
The third stanza was just unbelievable. 'Giver of a thousand butterfly kisses' it just left me speachless from that point.
Then the forth stanza talking of the persons beauty was a really wonderfully add to this part.
The fith stanza was without a doubt my favourite, very imaginative and full of imagery, Finnally you can have a full picture of the person in your minds eyes, very beautiful.
The flow was unbeleavable, the ryhme without a flaw and definatly not forced. I loved every part and well done for making the top three
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The last three lines were my favourite part. It was a very very good write. I really enjoyed it. You took the one of the randomest things i could think up and made it into something beautiful. Very lovely xo. Thank you for the amazing entry.
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I like this.
I like how you were talking about eyelashes, but you could tell what the reall meaning was. If you looked a little deeper -
I really like it. The poem itself doesn't sound weird, it's just a weird sort of poem. However it's still a great poem.
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Very interesting! I like the rhyme and it doesn't sound weird to me! Great work.
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