Chocolate covered candies,
Dipped in chocolate covered dreams.
A single rose laced with sweet soft kisses,
Not overdone or undone, just right.
Comfy teddies from as far as I can see,
One is all it takes to swept me off my feet.
Balloons in all shapes and sizes,
A floating phrase that makes my day.
A stranger that took my breath away.
A dream of all things great.
Then I realize......
Have I ever tasted chocolate covered candies,
Dipped in chocolate covered dreams?
Has a single rose laced with soft sweet kisses ever been given to me?
Overdone or undone, will I ever know?
Were there nothing but teddies as far as I could see?
Did it take just one to sweep me off my feet?
Were there balloons in all shapes and sizes,
Did that floating phrase make my day?
Were you that stranger that took my breath away?
Was this just a dream of all things great?
Author notes
Untouchable Beauty
- Is it abnormality to think too much group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Valentines Gifts. by Poetryintheblood.
550 points, ended January 26, 2009, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gifted by XcPrincessB.
700 points, ended April 27, 2009, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Little Things That Made Your Day, PW Welcome by MomoniFeliyador.
800 points, ended July 5, 2009, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Fight for the Gold: Prewrites Unlimited #1 by amaranthine lover.
27500 points, ended August 28, 2009, 160 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~Creative Eyes Are Waiting... by GinryuStargazer.
850 points, ended August 16, 2009, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 10 Options {Pre-writes aloud} by AussieGirlDreamer12.
700 points, ended August 28, 2009, 88 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
-
18.67 / 25
Again I see that you put too much emphasis on your ability with imagery and not enough of getting to the point. Sometimes the shorter the poem the better. -
I don't know what it is actually, but I just dont much like this one. I liked some of the individual imagery presented but as a whole it just looses cohesion I guess. Thank you for entering the "Fight for the Gold contest, best of luck to you in the judging... Scott
-
That's sweet! You make me hungry - I always get hungry when I think of chocolate!
Wish you the best of luck!
♥~Little Lesley~♥ -
LOVELY
I haven't seen a love poem like that; BRILLIANT. And I loved the recosideration at the end.
^^
^^
-
Very nice poem! Though sadly it isn't quite what I was looking for.. Nevertheless it is a fantastic poem and the imagery flows very nicely.
I like this because it is hopeful but then it seems like there is no hope at all. Something of which I can most definitely relate to!
Thank you for entering this piece, I enjoyed reading it very very much! -
This is really good.
And I can def. relate.
Lol -
I liked it. It's full of hope and happiness at the start and then sadness at the end. I like those or the reverse.. a surprise and shock is always good in poetry.
I feel it might have been better in the last verse if you didn't just recite what you'd already said.. but perhaps likened some feelings to how you felt about the lack of these things. Just my thoughts though... doesn't detract from the fact that this was great.
Thank you for entering.
-
"Overdone or undone, will i ever know? "
Love this part. -
This is REALLY good!
I loved the form, style, and word choice.
I could also truly feel the emotion as I read on and on. =] -
I liked this simply because of how it winded up neatly and poignantly ending with that line."A floating phrase that makes me day" is a very pretty line.
-
Wow this was really good =] I loved the line "Overdone or undone, will i ever know? "
-
Thank you for your beautiful entry, good luck in my contest, Josie
-
good luck in the contest with this descriptive and imaginitive write
Adding your comment:
1 - 13 of 13
