I don't say it out in public
I don't risk being heard
I have someone I want to kill
someone for whom I'd dig a hole to fill
I don't tell anyone about it
I don't let it get out of hand
I have someone I want to bleed
it's something I think I just need
I don't think I'd ever do it
but everything's all his fault
it's something the police won't permit
being held down and charged for assault
I stand tall in a funny place
my head's going to fucking race
I'm a failure a fucking disgrace
I'm panicking so it'll be a brief chase
I stand in a place I'm not used to
I think in a way I won't admit to you
but oh god
I want to so bad
I'd drag him into an abandoned house
pierce and slice and slit open and douse
keep him quiet while I saw off his hand
trying to follow through with what I have planned
keep him alive long enough to cry
it's not enough to just let him die
no matter how much blood I can have run
it's nothing compared to what he's done
my life is in pieces all thanks to him
I'm thinking of this all on a whim
and once I'm done
I blow my head in pieces
because no one would understand
no one could ever understand
why I want him to stop moving forever
the mess I'm making here isn't the same as his
this is much easier to clean up
our bodies in a horrifying mutilated mound
quietly deteriorating and making no sound
our spirits are in hell having to be restrained
the news comes on and the details are explained
everyone who didn't know us are all entertained
a few days later a jogger notices all the dried blood
and in hell both of us are broken up
and now everything is in harmony
I did it because they all let me
just as God always wanted it to be
Author notes
I've been hesitant to post this one for the past couple of days, for obvious reasons. I write lots about suicide, but sporadically on the theme of homicide. It's *not* a personal story, per se, but it is a reflection of depression and anger, and coping with both.
Comments
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a great rant, but i'm kinda wondering what's happening with the rhyme scheme?
also: what exactly did he do to make the person speaking want to kill him? just curious -
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Well, the motivation *behind* it that I didn't go into was a boy whose female friend had been in an abusive relationship, whose life decayed as a result of the years of abuse and dependence, until she killed herself in hopelessness, and he's taking panicked revenge for her. I didn't go into any of this for the sake of making it way too long, but the whole thing was inspired from a personal experience, and it's what I was thinking.
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