This moment seemed to take forever
to get to where it is.
A ride upon some frozen stars,
slowly drifting towards the end,
the words that finally come,
catch my breath in place,
freezing in my lungs.
Finally leaning in,
tilting strangely to come closer
across the cold blue bar.
So quick, I couldn't be sure,
my numb lips in the bitter wind
trying to taste it again.
Soft moment passing,
to hold on to forever,
catching every breath that's taken
to look back on again,
once we're off
these musical chairs.
Author notes
If you couldn't notice, this is a poem about my first kiss, which happened on a ski lift, called "Musical Chairs" with my boyfriend.
6) A poem on Love.
A contest entry
- Write me a poem about the biggest surprise in your life. by poetrandy.
1400 points, ended February 8, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Odd........(CLICK ME) by Jaffa-.
510 points, ended February 6, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your thoughts and feelings... by invisible2u.
600 points, ended February 6, 69 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My valentine ever lasting love by EeyoreUK.
400 points, ended February 1, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Mm'kay. It's Free-verse Time :] by Sunkissed xo.
400 points, ended February 19, 68 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - THIS SHOULD HAVE WON GOLD!! by lindaburns.
1900 points, ended February 16, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love by alwaysapartofme.
700 points, ended February 7, 58 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round one (for everyone) prewrite contest ENTER ENTER ENTER (AND YES THAT MEAN'S YOU too by serenity silvermoon.
927 points, ended February 16, 1509 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think? How can I improve? What was your least favorite part? Your favorite?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Very good. Very expressive. 4th line from the bottom thats needs an apostrophe to make it that’s. I have asked to be allowed to give more trophies. If the site lets me, I will put you in as a finalist. If you edit in the correction.
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Now edited.
thank you!
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Thanks for your entry. This is really wonderful
Good luck in the contest!
♥ -
I really liked this write. Rather powerful and very nicely described. Very nicely written.
'my numb lips in the bitter wind
trying to taste it again.'
Was my favourite part of this. Very descriptive and nicely worded poem. Well done and thanks for the write. -
haha i got the first kiss or atleast kissing part on my second read but now that i just read the auther notes i see that the cold numbness was a literal and not figurative meaning. very descriptive.
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Very good!
I didn't get it at first! LOL! Good luck in the contest!
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Thanks for entering and good luck!
<3 Abi
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