Every Night

It begins at two in the morning
But I guess that’s when I loose myself the most

I hide out and go crawling in the corner trying to hold myself together

My acid tears drip down my body
I can feel the scorching pain disintegrate my flesh
Little by little…bit by bit…

I shutter and tremble, my lips quivering trying to hold in my screams
My white silk dress torn and stained with blood
I grab my fragile legs up to my chest and hope that the pain will go away.

And then…my skin tingles as I see his face
I can feel his precious rough hands on my skin
His lecherous lips on my neck…biting and teasing…
I close my eyes in fornication and dig my nails into his back…
Our bodies rub together up and down…
He goes inside me filling me with wonder and perfect love…

But only a dream…
Will I ever see his face again?
Taste his perfect lips?

I want to feel his arms around my broken body…
I cry out his name when I close my eyes
And only find myself covered in blood when I awake from my own screams…
I jump and breathe heavily…running to the mirror…
My eyes are charcoal black...my body frail and red…
My dampened black hair across my bony face…

I crawl back to the corner of my room
And try to have this episode pass by me once more…

The storm outside is vigorous and daunting…
The sky pouring mounds of ice…
The darkness from the storm seeps under the windowsill and curves its way toward me
Turning into a black liquid fog
I stare at it wide eyed as it crawls up my legs and torso…
Slithering up my breasts and neck…and into my mouth running down my throat…

My head falls back with my eyes closed as it spreads itself throughout my soul…
I fall to the floor and open my green eyes and stare at my ceiling…blood pours out of my mouth…
I choke and cough up gobs of it…
I inhale while choking still
And turn over to see what time it is…
4:00am.

I close my eyes
Then open them again…tears…
I shake as I make my way over to my bed once more…climbing up the edge of it…

I lie down and curl into a ball…waiting…just waiting for the night to be over…