Of all our Maker's wondrous ways,
I sometimes think it fairly odd
that he'd in murky flesh encase
a soul made in the shape of God.
This problem never bothers Ann
for her flesh has a goddess-look.
Or so she's told by 'godling' Dan,
while I sit by and read a book.
Sometimes when I can't forget
my loneliness and awkward shape,
the churnings of my mind beget
imagined hallways of escape.
If no one had a body, then
I might be judged as fair as Ann.
Or if discernment lay with men,
then so might I. Or if a man
as plain as I in face and form
could be content with one more such
we might between us stir a storm
of fire, nor mind the pimples much.
I have a heart in storage here,
responsive, kind, without reserve,
that could adore, if once called "dear"
a man as demi-gods deserve.
Author notes
This is written in a high style, of course - everything's a tad exaggerated for clarity - everything from the relative beauty and ugliness of the characters, to the loneliness of the persona. The point is to make the point, and hopefully in a clever way.
Later note: This was before my angel up and fell in love with me, for what reason I cannot imagine except that he is an angel. 
Written February 16th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
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JennyLee - thanks for pointing that out. I think my worst problem was that I accidentally moved some words to the end of a line which ought to have been at the beginning of the next. The only other problem would then be ways/encase, which, if we take the examples of the best poets, ought to be tolerable. I tweaked the rhythm but in some cases decided that clarity was better. Thanks for stopping by.
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Your idea for your poem is really really great, but you have some serious problems with some of your rhymes and your meter is off. Definitely worth working on to get it right. You might think about only rhyming every other line and do it consistently with perfect rhymes. I would hate to see you give up on this one. I really loved the idea, I wish I had thought of it!
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