I had a dream of beauty -
a vision of perfection -
and in this dream I dreamt,
I stood within a garden,
an Eden, a paradise;
the sunlight shone between the clouds,
a light of Heaven above -
too besotted with beauty was I,
too distracted by lovely appearance,
to notice the clouds were grey.
Gniyfirret eramthgin a dah I -
maerd a nihtiw delaecnoc eramthgin a -
gniyfirret earmthgin siht ni dna,
deveiced os saw I;
noitcefrep derorrim ti,
ytinivid dna ytuaeb dengief ti -
gnidih tsaeb eht was reven I dna,
llik eht rof gnitiaw, dehtaehsnu swalc;
gninihs deppots thgil eht nehw,
llef ssenkrad eht nehw dna,
detfil saw ksam gnikcom eht -
ssengnihton otni delbmurc Dlrowmaerd eht. . .
And this is when I woke.
{Second Stanza Translated:
I had a nightmare terrifying -
a nightmare within a dream -
and in this nightmare terrifying,
I was so decieved;
it mirrored perfection,
it feigned beauty and divinity -
and I never saw the beast hiding,
claws unsheathed, waiting for the kill;
when the light stopped shining,
and when the darkness fell,
the mocking mask was lifted -
the Dreamworld crumbled into nothingness. . .}
Author notes
Wow, uhm. . The second stanza. . I really don't want to say. I'm curious if you can figure it out. It makes sense when you know what it is and then relate it to what it says. . Think mirrors.
Also, I took a slight bit of inspiration from Coraline by Neil Gaiman insofar as the concept is concerned. . If you haven't read the book, then read it. If you are going to see the movie, read the book before you see it. Trust me - it's a great book.
P.S. For any of my real-life friends who have read "Edareuqsam Eht", please don't spoil it. ("Edareuqsam Eht" is the first of all poems I have written in that particular style. . This would be the second, really, if you counted it, but in actuality, it is a combination. I'll get around to posting the first one soon enough. ^^; )
Critique?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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this is really great.
very unique, i dig it.
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i get it now that was really clever because you would never know until you read the notes.
well done -
This was good. Very good. I loved how you have everything mirrored, it really adds to the piece as a whole, thanks for sharing this!
Peace and love,
B -
I enjoyed this. I like the originality in the second verse despite there being a few spelling mistakes in the backwards words. It really reflecting a masquerade and trickery.
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Thank you for pointing this out and making me go back to double-check. I was having some trouble typing backwards, but I thought that I had fixed all of the mistakes. ^^; They're fixed now, though, so everything is quite in order. =)
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