It is like
A solar eclipse
Inside my heart
I can't see past the pain
Don't know how I really feel
Don't know how long
This darkness will last
All I know
Is that it seems
To have been there
For an eternity
Author notes
... not much to say
like or dislike? what do you really think?
Comments
-
"It is like
A solar eclipse
Inside my heart"
Those lines were amazing, very visual, memorable, and intense. The rest... seems a little cliche to me, though it's also quite coherent. I think the first three lines could stand on their own, but... maybe it's just the word "darkness"? I mean, I liked the idea of something that seems to have been there for all eternity, it's intense and shows how you're so deep into a situation, you can't remember it's just something finite like everything else.
I see real potential in this, keep it up
-
hey, i like it.
i am definitely going to check out your other poems! oh, and i hope things get better for you.
Adding your comment:
